Want to Make a Moral Impact? Help People Stop and Engage.

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As our team joined me in Washington, DC last month for the March for Life and the National Pro-Life Summit conference, we were looking for ways to make a moral impact rather than to make just a moral statement (see my January letter for more on this).

At the march, we decided to join the masses with hand-made signs. At the last minute, I decided to pull JFA’s “Hope of Change” exhibit sign from the van. The sign features a Margot Rogers image of the unborn adorned with the same art style as Obama’s iconic campaign signs. We debated whether we would regret carrying the 2x4 foot sign around DC, but just after we settled ourselves on the lawn near the Washington monument, an AP Wire reporter approached wanting to know what the sign was about. The sign had done its job: it caused the viewer to stop and engage. (See pictures from the march at JFA’s Instagram page).

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After the march, the main work of the day began: we boarded the metro to head to the offices of the Leadership Institute about 15 minutes outside the city. There we presented an interactive dialogue workshop to students from Colorado Christian University along with various others we had invited – about 50 in total. Why did we make this event interactive, featuring a heavy dose of role-play practice? We wanted these participants to stop being mere spectators of abortion discussions and instead engage those around them. So, we used the same emphasis in the workshop itself: we expected participants to engage with what we were teaching by practicing it themselves right there and then.

The same concern animated our team the next day at the National Pro-Life Summit hosted by Students for Life of America (SFLA). We were in the exhibitor hall where participants in the conference might walk by our table only once during the day. How could we help them stop and engage with the need to be trained to dialogue?

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See more images on Instagram.

We decided that what stops pro-life advocates in a conference is probably not much different than what stops pro-choice advocates during our outreach events. On campus our poll tables and free speech boards are our most dependable tools that cause people to stop and engage, especially when coupled with an exhibit that challenges the status quo on abortion. (See JFA’s Instagram page for pictures from our February events at three Texas universities: UTSA, Texas State, and Tarleton State.) At this conference filled with passionate pro-life advocates, then, we decided to create special free speech boards with big questions to help these particular passersby stop and engage. It worked beautifully, as you can see from the conference pictures. We had a steady stream of conversations throughout the day about the need for training in dialogue.

Please pray for our upcoming seminar, workshop, and outreach events, that each will help pro-life advocates to stop and engage in learning to dialogue so that they can help pro-choice advocates to stop and engage in rethinking their positions on abortion.

How can you use this concept in your own life to help those around you stop and engage? I suggest sharing a picture of a free speech board from the conference with a pro-life friend, and ask, “How would you answer the question JFA asked on this conference free speech board?”

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Recent and Upcoming Events

1/21 March for Life & Workshop (Washington, DC)

1/22 National Pro-Life Summit (Hosted by SFLA)

1/30-31 Workshops in Denton & Stephenville (TX)

2/1-2 Outreach at Tarleton State (Stephenville, TX)

2/13 Seminars (San Marcos & San Antonio, TX)

2/14-17 Outreach at Texas State & UTSA (TX)

2/23 UNL Club Meeting Presentation (Lincoln, NE)

2/26-27 Seminars (Wichita, KS)

2/28-3/1 Outreach at Wichita State (KS)

2/28-3/3 Love3 Interactive Workshop (Online)

March-May Outreach Events in AZ, CO, CA, KS

5/2-5 Love3 Interactive Workshop (Online)

See the JFA Calendar for more events and details!

See Instagram for pictures of recent events!

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A Thought About Back-Alley Abortion

I recommend reading all of Steve Wagner’s article on back-alley abortion, but I wanted to note this section towards the end:

Deal with the More Sophisticated Version

Much of the time, the back-alley concern masks the fact that an abortion advocate is assuming the unborn is not a human being. In other words, she is saying, “It’s wrong to make a surgery more dangerous if it is innocuous.” We can agree in principle, then show that the unborn is a human being and the surgery is not innocuous at all.

Once we’ve made our case, the abortion advocate will likely shift to a more sophisticated argument:

“Even if abortion kills a human being, isn’t it better for fewer people to die (at least we can save the mother)? It is better that at least the mother live, than that she and her fetus should die in the back alley. Isn’t it worse for two to die than one?”

This argument assumes that the mother has no other choice but to kill the child. But, of course, she does have alternatives. As I like to say, she has a third option. It’s not, “Either she kills the child by legal abortion or she kills herself and her child by illegal abortion.” The third option is that she can refrain from killing anyone!

Abortion: From Debate to Dialogue – The Interactive Guide (v. 3.32), pp. 165-166 © 2019 Justice For All, Inc.

"Proud to Stand with Them"

“What JFA teaches and stands for is unlike anything I've seen in other pro-life groups. The humility, empathy, patience, and kindness they exhibit to the students they converse with is how we all should strive to treat one another. The crime of abortion stems from the devaluation of human life as a whole and if we want to save the unborn from the injustices they face every minute, we ought to first treat one another better. This is exactly what I saw from JFA, and I was proud to stand with them in love even in the face of criticism, resentments, and hate.”

- Cole, JFA Volunteer, Nov. 2021

Moral Statement or Moral Impact?

As I write this, seven members of the JFA team are heading towards airports to fly to Washington D.C. to participate with me in the March for Life (Friday, 1/21) and the National Pro-Life Summit (Saturday, 1/22). Since we’ll be marching in opposition to legal abortion, it makes sense that we’d reflect on a question I remember Greg Koukl (str.org) asking years ago that has always stuck with me: Do you want to make a moral statement or a moral impact?

The question is phrased in such a way that it could be seen as purely rhetorical: Obviously we want to make an impact. There isn’t much value to making a statement if in making it we fail to make an impact. Or worse, what if we make an impact contrary to the one we’re intending?

The question is not purely rhetorical, though, because many people are very satisfied with simply making a statement, and many have never reflected on how we might choose particular activities that are more likely to make an impact. Here’s how I reflect and respond:

Our team doesn’t march simply to make the appropriate statement against legal abortion. We are in DC to multiply our work of training a different kind of advocate to create a different kind of conversation that changes hearts and minds. Changing minds, after all, is essential to protecting unborn children in a democratic society, and protecting the unborn is the moral impact that all of the marchers long to see. Please pray with us, then, that through these events we’ll find and inspire potential interns who want to learn to train others, leaders who want us to train the people in their care, and individual pro-life activists who can make a greater impact with the tools we teach.

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Recent Instagram Post

Recent and Upcoming Events

1/13 Workshop: Young Adults Group (Lincoln, NE)

1/15 Seminar: Homeschool Group (Lincoln, NE)

1/15 San Diego Walk for Life (San Diego, CA)

1/21 March for Life Activities (Washington, DC)

1/21 Workshop: Various Groups (Washington, DC)

1/22 National Pro-Life Summit (Hosted by SFLA)

1/30 Seminar (Denton, TX)

2/13 Seminar (Near San Marcos, TX)

2/14-15 Outreach at Texas State (San Marcos, TX)

See www.jfaweb.org/calendar for more events!

Expecting God's Unexpected

They expected God to send a conquering king, someone who would set things right between the nation of Israel and the Roman Empire. Jesus constantly turned people’s eyes to an unseen world of unseen rulers.

They expected a visible ruler. Jesus appeared invisibly as an embryo in Mary’s womb. Then he walked among them humbly, exercising undisputable wisdom and power not to secure a visible throne but to conquer unseen demons and to destroy lofty opinions raised against the knowledge of God (see II Cor. 10:5).

They expected the Messiah to sit on the throne of David in Jerusalem, respected by everyone for his power. Jesus was lifted high...on a cross, hanged as criminal, disgusting to Jew and Gentile alike.

During Advent and Christmas we pause and re-live that first season of expectation, when the Messiah had not yet appeared. I’d like to suggest we also try to recapture that sense of what those in the first century were expecting. They had a narrative they had built, detailing the way God would be working “any day now.” They were sure of it. And then God moved, deliberately, decisively to do something utterly different.

JFA’s regular dialogue team after outreach at University of Oklahoma in October 2021: Paul Kulas, Tammy Cook, Jeremy Gorr, Rebekah Dyer, Kristina Massa, Kaitlyn Donihue, Mary St. Hilaire, Jon Wagner, Bella O’Neill, Andrea Thenhaus (Missing: Steve Wagner)

Click the image (or this link) to give a gift to JFA to support the work of these missionaries. Each (including Steve Wagner - see other picture) raises his or her support to be able to continue the work of changing hearts and minds on abortion and other important worldview topics.

Note: For a 2021 tax-deductible receipt, please give or postmark your gift by December 31, 2021.

It’s a sort of cautionary tale for us. Be careful of those things you expect with certainty. For God is at work, and his mind is many times quite different than our own.

Along with many others, I listened to the Supreme Court’s December 1 oral arguments on the Dobbs case. Dobbs concerns the Mississippi ban on abortion after 15 weeks which is causing the Supreme Court to consider overruling its landmark cases protecting legal abortion, Roe v. Wade (1973) and Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1992). I reviewed the thoughts of various commentators before and after. Many expect the Court to overturn Roe and Casey. Many pro-life advocates are quivering with excitement about the potential that many states could then move forward with stronger restrictions against abortion.

Add to this the Supreme Court’s recent decision on Texas SB8, effectively allowing the law to continue to stand as it has since September 1, causing many Texas abortionists to cease doing abortions after a heartbeat is detected (at approximately six weeks from last menstrual period, or four weeks from fertilization – note that the heartbeat arises at about three weeks from fertilization but normally can’t be detected at that point). Many pro-life advocates in other states are monitoring the Texas situation and hoping to utilize the same type of law to curtail many abortions in their own states.

To be sure, even if the Supreme Court’s decisions in these cases result in the saving of one human being’s life, we will rejoice. Nothing I say in what follows is meant to take away from this.

Let’s remember the cautionary tale of the Messiah expected and the Messiah come: be careful of those visible outcomes you expect with certainty.

It is the same with these Supreme Court cases. Be careful of the visible outcomes you expect with certainty. Sure, the words of some commentators could turn out to be wise, even prophetic. Roe and Casey may be on their way out. The Texas law may survive other challenges and prove to be an effective strategy to stop abortions. These things may all be true. But God – God may be moving in spite of expectations to bring about some other results we can’t even imagine.

We look back at our first century Jewish counterparts and caution them in retrospect to look not for what they had come to expect from their Messiah and God’s plan and the meaning of redemption. We caution them to instead “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness” (see Matt. 6:33). We caution them to “set their mind on the things of God and not on the things of man” (see Mark 8:31-33). We caution them to humbly pray for the strength to wait on the Lord, to know him more deeply, to do his will in this day, regardless of the visible outcomes he brings tomorrow. In short, we caution them to “walk by faith, not by sight” (see II Cor. 5:7).

In the same way, I encourage each of us to pray for the strength to seek to know God in this time, to be with him, even as we earnestly desire for all unborn children to be protected from violence. Our task is not to divine the decisions of the Supreme Court with a certainty we cannot reasonably have about the future; our task is to keep ourselves doing the things we know with certainty God has given us to do today.

The Gospel accounts and the Book of Acts tell the story vividly. Over and over again, the Jews were surprised by the way God was working out his plan. Perhaps we might even say that surprise is the dominant theme of those books.

I suspect that surprise will also continue to be the dominant theme of our work seeking justice for all. I don’t know what God will do with the law in 2022, but I am rather certain of one thing: He will surprise me.

So let us then keep our eyes fixed on God, earnestly seeking what he would have us do in this day. Let us earnestly seek to be with him in his work and to enjoy his decision to be with us in his Son, Immanuel, God with us.

With this in mind, our team is gearing up to keep doing in 2022 those things we believe God has uniquely gifted us to do. We will seek to change hearts and minds so that abortion is unthinkable, and so that love for women and children is kindled into thoughtful action that is unstoppable. We will train as many people as we can to create as many conversations as they can, in hopes of seeing God change the world in a way only he can.

Thank you for standing with us but also kneeling with us before the Father, as we tie all of our expectations and hopes to him and the surprising ways he is working in our midst.

Help JFA “Expect God’s Unexpected” in 2022

Thank you for your faithful support of Justice For All. There’s still time to give an end-of-year gift. Click the picture or click this link to donate or postmark your gift by December 31, 2021.

Pictured above is JFA’s outreach team during California events in November 2021: Andrea Thenhaus, Kaitlyn Donihue, Steve Wagner, Jon Wagner, Rebekah Dyer, Kristina Massa, Bella O’Neill

Please pray with us for every event and every conversation we create, looking with trusting expectation to see what results God is pleased to bring from them, even if he surprises us.

Merry Christmas!

Jesus Came in Weakness

Have you ever noticed that God often values different things than we do? As humans we tend to value strength, but so often God chooses weakness.

In the Old Testament, God chose weakness when he asked Gideon to send most of his troops home and fight with only a tiny minority of his army.

He chose weakness when He sent Elijah to ask for food from a poor widow (she only had enough food for one last meal) rather than to a wealthier individual.

In the New Testament, God chose weakness when He called fishermen and tax-collectors – the lowest of the low in society – to follow Him instead of calling the best and the brightest.

But more astounding than all of these stories, God chose weakness when He sent Jesus into the world. Jesus came into the world, not as an independent adult, not as a child, and not even as a baby. Jesus came into the world as an embryo. An embryo is weak. He is dependent. The God who created the universe and holds it together chose to enter His creation in the weakest and most dependent state possible.

That encourages me.

Our God is not looking for the best and the brightest. He is not seeking credentials. He chooses weakness. He chooses us.

Many of us feel like we can’t really be used by God. We are not talented or powerful enough. We don’t have a big audience or a lot of money. We look around and see other people whom we think God could really use – people with power, influence, talent, etc.

When we think this way, we are missing the point. God is not looking for talented, powerful people. He is looking for people who will trust Him to use them in their weaknesses and their inadequacies. God chooses weakness because in weakness, His strength is most clearly seen.

That is what Christmas is all about.

God came to earth in weakness in order to rescue those who are weak, you and me.

This year, as you celebrate Christmas, take time to be amazed afresh at the incredible reality that God came into the world in weakness to rescue us.

Changing Hearts Is Still Job One

As I write this, the Supreme Court is expected to issue an emergency ruling soon on the Texas law (SB8) that has successfully curtailed many abortions in the state. It will also hear oral arguments on December 1 on the Mississippi law banning abortion after 15 weeks (Dobbs). There is some reason for optimism, especially on Dobbs, but the view we’ve gotten from the field is that our most important challenge remains a constant: many people, inside communities of Christians and outside, simply don’t have a strong love for unborn children and their mothers. It’s that love that drives the JFA team to work to protect both from abortion.

So changing hearts remains Job One. In this Impact Report, we share reflections from participants who found that love and the tools to express it through our training program. We also share pictures of conversations created at recent outreach events. To read some of the amazing stories of changed hearts from the past few months, click the links towards the end of this post.

I am coming to realize just how important it is to reach out to people who are thinking of having an abortion. I used to think that I could not make much of a difference, so why even try? But I have come to realize that saving even one life is worth going out and talking to these women, even though it is outside of my comfort zone. – Abby

God’s really been teaching me how to love correctly lately. I get very passionate about abortion, so something God’s been teaching me today is how to take that passion he’s given me and give it back to him so he can use it through me. I’ve been doing it without a lot of love and I’ve felt convicted of that. – Lydia

You have met a concern I didn’t know how to express: it bothered me when Christians just made intellectual arguments and neglected the life of the mother and all the other difficult aspects of this situation. I have never had a framework or seen an example of this being done in love before. I feel like I have the resources now to take a stand against something that is wrong while demonstrating love and showing care. I LOVE the scripts and additional resources. You made this hands on and practical/tangible. I was so thankful for this training! I feel equipped and encouraged and even excited! – Allison

Thank you for making my voice usable. – Rachel

This opened my eyes to the abortion dialogue. It was always a topic of conversation [to which] I would just say “Amen, that’s wrong.” Now I have the tools to actually do something. Your emphasis [on] the “relational” helps me shift this from a debate to an opportunity to love and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. – Eli

Very well articulated. I have been through [similar] seminars, and this did a great job at solidifying this topic into my brain and rekindling the fire in my heart towards this subject. – Garrett

This was super helpful, and not just philosophically, but ... practically. This has been such a great reminder that it’s not only about the unborn, but also about the person standing in front of us, and that we’re called as Christians to love both. – Annie

I used to look at the topic of abortion as a big rock that I could not move. Now I learned that I can now slowly chip away at it. – Mariah

A Big Change for Chase

Tammy (left) and Rose (in red) talk with Chase at WSU in September 2021.

What a wonderful fall semester! It has been such a joy to be back on campus and having in-person conversations with students. I participated in JFA events in Kansas, Colorado, and Oklahoma. At a small campus outreach event at Wichita State University (WSU) in September, I had a memorable conversation with a student that lasted nearly an hour. I think you’ll be delighted at the outcome.

I was standing with Rose, JFA intern, in front of our Should Abortion Remain Legal poll sign. We met a student named Chase. He didn’t sign our poll, but instead asked our opinion. So I briefly explained our pro-life view. He said that he would vote yes because people are going to do it anyway and we should keep it safe. I asked if he was pro-choice, and he said yes.

Seeking to find common ground I asked, “Should it be legal when done for sex selection? As a form of birth control? During the late term?” He didn’t think it should be legal for any of those reasons. I remarked that there’s a lot on which we agree. He smiled and shook his head affirmatively.

“Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure, pp. 4-5 (Get your own copy here.)

I began explaining the JFA “Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure. I gave a summary of basic human reproduction and biology on the pages depicting stages of human life, before and after birth. He agreed that the unborn is a developing human at fertilization, but it needs a heartbeat to be a human being.

I agreed there is no heartbeat during the first three weeks. I explained that the unborn is a developing human organism, and there’s no injection of essential genetic material after fertilization. The unborn only needs one thing to continue its development—nutrition. And that’s all that we need to move through the stages of human life, from birth to toddler, to teenager, to young adult, etc. We are the same whole human organism at fertilization as we are right now. He agreed that that made sense.

After a short pause, he said, “If that’s all true, then abortion might be wrong depending on the circumstance.” Wow, progress!

I was enjoying this conversation with Chase, not because he was agreeing with everything that I was asking or saying (he wasn’t), but because we built a rapport rather quickly. He pushed back often, which I fully expected from someone that says he is pro-choice. It was exciting to be on a journey engaging with someone who is open-minded and using critical thinking skills. Chase found it surprising, for example, when I noted that about 95% of abortions are for reasons other than rape, life of the mother, and incest.

My next step was using the Equal Rights Argument. I asked what is the same about us—what gives us our equality? He said that the ability to think is what gives us our equality. I asked him to consider a scenario. If the three of us took the same physics test, how would each of us do? I said that I probably wouldn’t do very well. Rose said she wouldn’t do well either, but Chase said that he would do well. I responded, “Since it’s obvious that we have different levels of the ability to think, then our ability to think can’t be the ‘thing’ that gives us our equality because we don’t all think equally, right? Doesn’t our equality have to be based on something that we all have equally?” He shook his head yes and I sensed this was a lightbulb moment. I continued, “I believe that our humanness is what’s the same about all of us—that’s what gives us our equality. And since the unborn are human like us, don’t they deserve to be treated equally to us?” He nodded in agreement. More progress.

Since Chase had referenced personal freedoms several times, I knew that was an important topic to him. So I shared my Two Buckets analogy. At the end of my story, I asked, “In which bucket does abortion belong? Does it belong in the one with personal preferences or the one with things like murder and stealing?” He thought for a minute and said, “I’m against 95% of abortions. That 95% belongs in the bucket with murder. I can now see that abortion is wrong. But abortion needs to be legal for the other 5%.” Praise God! Now I’m going after that remaining 5%!

I agreed that rape, incest, and life of the mother are very tough situations. I addressed each circumstance and expressed concern for those women. I commended Chase for his compassion. After I felt that I had adequately communicated my compassion, I attempted to bring the conversation back to the point of agreement that the unborn is human. I “trotted out a toddler.” I said, “Imagine a woman with a two-year-old who was conceived in rape. Would you agree that she can’t kill her child even though she can’t deal with the deep emotional pain she feels every time she looks at her child?” He agreed. We discussed it further and agreed that even though the topic of rape is very difficult, that since the unborn is human like the two-year-old, then we can’t kill the unborn in the same way that we can’t kill the two-year-old. They are both valuable human beings.

I added a few more facts. I told him that many people don’t know there are a lot of resources available at thousands of Pregnancy Resource Centers. I said there are about 2,500 abortions every day and I believe there are plenty of resources to help every one of those women.

He said, “Okay, you convinced me! I’m against abortion 100%!” We looked at each other with big smiles and high-fived! Then he signed “No” on our Should Abortion Remain Legal poll. Praise God!

For help learning and using the tools that I employed in my conversation with Chase, here’s a special list of links just for you:

• Two Buckets

• Two Buckets - Take Two

• Trot Out the Toddler (Collection of Newsletters by JFA Trainers)

• Equal Rights Argument (Collection of Newsletters by JFA Trainers)

Thank you for your prayers and for your continued support. I’m experiencing a shortfall in my support right now. Would you consider giving a special year-end gift to help? Thank you! May God bless you.

In Christ,

Tammy Cook

Second Thoughts

You know when you have a thought that enters your mind immediately upon hearing something or seeing someone, and you think, “Wow, I’m not sure why I thought that. That was a bizarre thought. I don’t appreciate that that came into my mind.” Follow me here. I call this a First Thought.

That internal questioning that says, “Hmm, why did I think that?” is one example of a Second Thought. This is a fundamental aspect of maturing as a person.

We’re all taught things, raised with ideas. Some of those ideas are beautiful and good and shape us to be stronger when challenged. Good ideas like trusting God first and looking before you cross the street can become instinctual First Thoughts if they’re ingrained early enough. Other first thoughts, however, are toxic. An example would be a thought of judging someone’s actions without discernment. Another example would be rude thoughts without consideration. Some forms of racism and sexism come from this First Thought category. Somewhere along the way, we absorb the belief that those clothes are “ugly” or that hairstyle is “awful.” These examples are only the tip of the iceberg. Sometimes these First Thoughts are insidious, causing harm to our psyche or resulting in harm to others when acted on.

When I first began doing pro-life work, I judged women who had abortions as murderers – evil women who wanted to kill children. After speaking to women who had unexpected pregnancies, challenging life circumstances, or who had actually sought out abortions, the Second Thoughts started to emerge. When I judged someone “without thinking,” I addressed that thought: “I don’t want to think things like that automatically. I want to learn more about this person and have compassion.”

Without Second Thoughts, the mind runs about like a child in a grocery store: “Ew, Mom, what’s wrong with her face?” With maturing and conscious effort to address prejudice, the mind stands still and ponders, “I feel concern. Concern for many people: the unborn, the women, this person standing before me. How do I love them all and extend to them the heart of Jesus?”

This transformation of thought takes work. Making Second Thoughts into instinctual habit takes years of re-learning, exposure to uncomfortable ideas, abandoning our pride before the throne of God. I still have so many First Thoughts. As a new mom, some First Thoughts about parenting are rearing their ugly heads, and I need compassion from people around me as I learn to re-train my mind, turning judgment into discernment and care. The good news is that I (and you!) can work on developing the habit of Second Thoughts that counteract these First Thoughts, causing them to recede into the background, and hopefully causing them to pop up less and less as Second Thoughts take their place.

As a pro-life speaker, trainer, and conversationalist, Second Thoughts are my passion. If I want to have a good conversation with someone with whom I may have disagreements, I have to put aside judgmental thoughts first and say to myself, “On second thought, how can I love them first?”

I challenge you to do the same.

Interns in Action (Part 2)

Impact Report, October 2021

At JFA, our internships are an expression of our passion for nurturing young leaders, helping them create conversations that change hearts and minds and helping them learn to train others. In all of these activities, we emphasize dependence on God to bring the results He wishes to bring through our efforts.

In our Impact Report last month, interns Rose and Bella shared stories of conversations they had during August and September outreach events at Wichita State University.

In this Impact Report, interns Andrea and Kristina share a window into how this process of creating conversations has affected them personally, including deepening their trust in God at every moment. As you endeavor to make a difference in the lives of those God puts in your path, I hope these insights from Andrea and Kristina will also encourage you to trust God throughout each interaction.

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Some of JFA’s interns come to us with very little conversation experience, just like many of our training participants. Because we place conversations and outreach front and center in the internship, interns quickly identify with our training participants’ normal fears and uncertainties, but our interns also gain insights they can share out of their personal experience with people they will be training. Interns Andrea and Kristina recently shared some of those insights:

Andrea Thenhaus: One of the most valuable skills I have learned is how to listen with an open heart yet also be able to share the truth in a conversation. I have gained a greater understanding of how to meet people in whatever circumstances they may be… I appreciate the mentoring that JFA provides. When out on campus I had a JFA member evaluate each conversation I had, which was especially helpful… I have been stretched in the Lord and grown in boldness. I have learned the importance of relying on the Lord to direct my conversations. Every conversation is an invitation to let the Holy Spirit step in and accomplish His work through me. I am thankful that the Lord is faithful to give me wisdom.

Kristina Massa: The scariest part about abortion dialogue is initiating the first conversation. Even after training and practice with Justice For All, the fears that accompanied asking strangers what they think about abortion continued to billow in my mind: What if they share an argument for which I’m not prepared? What if they yell at me? What if this is an emotional topic for them, and my question stirs up those emotions? The list of fears and lies the devil plants in our minds to prevent us from taking the first step can feel like it goes on forever, but the army of graces that God affords us to overcome those fears puts that list to shame.

With the support of the JFA team, I took a leap of faith in my first conversation at outreach. A young woman approached us to sign our poll which asked, “Should Abortion Remain Legal?” I initiated a conversation by asking her questions about her view. I was nervous, my demeanor was shaky, and I stumbled on my words. Any snarky person could have easily used my weakness to walk on me. To my surprise, the woman (who identified as pro-choice) was extremely gracious, and we found ourselves in a productive dialogue filled with lots of common ground. God used the woman’s temperament to compensate for what I was lacking. We may not have all of the right words or confidence we want in every conversation, but time and time again, God has demonstrated to me that He will provide the safe ground to land on as long as we take our leap of faith.

Two Buckets - Take Two

What a privilege it was to be back on the Wichita State University (WSU) campus on August 30 and 31 with the JFA team! I was excited to once again dialogue with college students face to face after a 17-month wait. I was ready to meet the challenge of helping them think through their views on abortion, and I prayed to see hearts and minds changed.

I introduced my Two Buckets analogy in 2017. It continues to be a very useful approach with pro-choice students that say, “I’m personally opposed to abortion, but I can’t tell others what to do.” I’m thrilled to share the impact that this analogy had on a WSU student named James.

James didn’t identify as pro-life or pro-choice. He said, “I’m in the middle.” I asked several questions to help him think through his views. I discovered that he believed that we become human at fertilization and that the unborn are human like us. He also agreed that the unborn deserved to be treated equally to born people and should be protected.

I then asked, “If you were to vote tomorrow on whether or not to keep abortion legal, how would you vote?” He thought long and hard and said, “I can still see both sides of the issue. I believe strongly in freedom of choice. I just don’t think I can take someone else’s rights away.” I shared my Two Buckets story to help him dig deeper into his thinking.

Tammy: Imagine that I have two buckets. The first bucket contains choices like murder, rape, stealing, and molestation. Do you agree that these choices are wrong and should not be legal?

James: Yes.

Tammy: The second bucket contains personal choices—for example, a favorite food like strawberries, choosing to go to college or not, dying your hair blue, etc. Do you agree that everyone should have the freedom to make these personal choices that do not harm others?

James: Yes.

Tammy: The significant difference between each of the two buckets is that one contains choices that harm people and the other bucket contains choices that do not harm people.

James: That makes a lot of sense. Many people think pro-life people want to take rights away, but I can see now that you’re actually wanting to add rights to people— to let them have plenty of rights as long as it doesn’t harm another human being...

I smiled and nodded in agreement.

James: What about rape? That’s a really tough situation.

Tammy: I agree.

I spent some time empathizing with women who’ve been raped and stated that we should punish rapists more fully. He agreed, and I continued:

Tammy: There are most likely students walking on this campus that were conceived from rape. Do you think they are any less valuable than those students who were not conceived in rape?

James. No.

I could see that this was a lightbulb moment for him.

Tammy: So, in which bucket does abortion belong?

James: [after a short pause] Abortion belongs in the bucket with murder.

I again nodded in agreement. We smiled at each other. Then I returned to my earlier question:

Tammy: If you were to vote tomorrow on whether or not to keep abortion legal, how would you vote?

James: I’d definitely vote no!

This was such a great moment. I paused to thank God for using me as an instrument to help James have a change of heart so significant that he is now willing even to vote to protect the unborn.

Thank you for your prayers! And thank you so much for your support that makes my work at Justice For All possible. May God bless you.

Note: Click here to read Tammy’s previous newsletter on this topic: “Two Buckets (Part 1).”

Interns in Action (Part 1)

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Introducing our intern class for the fall of 2021: Andrea, Rose, Kristina, and Bella.

Since mid-August when JFA’s fall 2021 internship began, interns Andrea, Rose, Kristina, and Bella have spent many hours conducting outreach events and creating conversations to help people change their minds about abortion. This month, Rose and Bella share a window into their experiences in their own words:

Rose: At Wichita State University in August, “Natasha” seemed to be captivated by our sandwich boards on display. I greeted her and asked if she had time to talk about her thoughts on abortion. She smiled and eagerly said, “Yes please, I don’t usually have conversations about this topic.” She mentioned that she was “on the fence” about abortion, but that her mother was pro-life. She proceeded to share and tell stories about her mother’s pregnancies and abortions… we moved to sit down in the shade on a nearby bench… [and] the conversation shifted when we were on the same level sitting down together side by side.

She shared with me that she was minoring in Women’s Studies. I took an interest in that and started asking her questions about… what she was learning. It then turned into a conversation focused on motherhood and the lies the world tells women about what motherhood should look like. She shared with me that many of her friends that have gotten abortions view the situation as “the most tragic and regretful decisions they have ever made.” She also said that after having abortions, most of her friends have become pro-life rather than remaining pro-choice. This statement provided a glimpse of hope for me that women’s hearts and minds can and will be transformed after they have reflected upon and faced healing after abortion.

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Rose (center in pink), Kristina (hat), and other JFA team members interact with Wichita State students at a JFA outreach event in late August.

She also mentioned some women in her life that have chosen to be mothers when all the odds seemed against them inspire her. We found common ground in viewing children as blessings rather than burdens, and that babies give women fuel and reasons to fulfill their dreams. At one point in the conversation, I mentioned the pro-life movie Unplanned. About five minutes later, her mother texted her a link to the movie. If that is not God communicating to me that I was talking to the right person at the right time, I don’t know what is. When we ended our conversation she said to me, “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me; you’ve solidified my pro-life views.” That was very rewarding to hear. I was very pleased that I could make a difference through a simple friendly conversation.

Bella: Before coming to JFA I thought I was loving the woman, but I really wasn’t. I would say I cared, but I didn’t understand how to care. I didn’t know how to open my eyes wide enough to take in the entire picture. I was scared that if I even for a moment glimpsed away from the unborn that I would somehow fail them. I didn’t know how to love the woman, have compassion for the person I was talking to, and still fight for the unborn. I realize now that I didn’t have compassion for the woman and the pro-choice advocate because I was still seeing the abortion issue as an Us v. Them, instead of an Us v. Injustice. Once my mindset shifted from seeing [pro-choice advocates] as the enemy, to seeing them as misinformed yet well-intentioned human beings hoping for justice and peace like me, the game changed. Now when I speak with someone who disagrees with me, I genuinely want to listen to them. Through this mindset I have had more fruitful (and surprisingly pleasant) conversations where a lot of progress has been made. I have learned that compassion is never wasted. It’s compassion that invokes us to listen and change…

Yesterday at outreach I was speaking to someone who didn’t have that strong of an opinion on abortion, but was pro-choice because he believed that women should be able to decide what to do with their lives. We walked through the biology and the Equal Rights argument, and he agreed with me all along the way. He then said something along the lines that the embryo just seems so far removed and hard to relate to, I agreed with him but [noted] that the way we look doesn’t define our value as humans. He agreed but then kind of shrugged and said, “That’s just the way society is; I don't know if I’d say it’s wrong—it’s socially acceptable…” I reminded him that at one point racism was socially acceptable and was the norm, but we now know that that was wrong despite the common opinion. He responded, “You are right, and I bet there were people that when they logically thought about it realized that it was wrong, and that’s why we are here today living in a nation that now understands racism is wrong. I guess we need to start educating people about abortion, helping people see what’s actually happening with abortion.” I was shocked that he had said that. I knew that his mind hadn’t completely changed, but he agreed that the divide here is a lack of familiarity and affection for the unborn. People are seeing the unborn as something they are not, so of course it is hard to see where we are coming from.

October 2021 Update: In Part 2, interns Kristina and Andrea share additional reflections.

Interns Kristina Massa (left), Rose Maddock (center), and Bella O’Neill (right) engage three students in conversation at Wichita State University.

Intern Andrea Thenhaus engages a student in conversation at Colorado Christian Universtiy.

Bella O’Neill in conversation at Tarleton State University, Stephenville, Texas

Krisitna Massa in conversation at Tarleton State University.

Rose Maddock engages two students in conversation at Wichita State University.

Rose Maddock (pink tank top) and Kristina Massa (hat) engage students in respectful conversations at Wichita State University in August.

An Abortion Conversation in a Jacuzzi?

“I was not planning on talking about abortion. It was Labor Day weekend, and I was at the house of my brother’s boss, “Jim.” I had been trying to set up a meeting with him for awhile to discuss the possibility of financially supporting my work with Justice For All. I knew he was more on the pro-choice side but also knew he was really open to speaking with me. I had prepared notes for this particular conversation, and I had been planning on reviewing them prior to discussing my work. I thought we would meet at a coffee shop at some point. This is the story about how my plan for preparation quickly went out the door and how God made something special out of it.”

I had the opportunity to work through abortion in the case of rape and also talk about the Equal Rights Argument. Click here to read how the whole conversation went.

SFLA Presentation: Links

I will give a presentation this evening about “How to Dialogue about Chemical Abortion” during an SFLA Webinar. (Register to attend here.)

Here are a few links to resources I mentioned in the presentation:

Create dialogue opportunities:

Get JFA Training:

Here are a few links to help you connect with JFA:

Don't Follow the Leader

I hope that you had a wonderful Fourth of July celebration with your family!

This year, I went with a friend to watch fireworks. We had a lot of fun. When we got back to my car, I struggled a bit to figure out how to get out of the parking lot. There were tons of people and cars. Everything was a bit chaotic. All of the cars seemed to be going left, which seemed a little odd to me because I was sure there was no outlet in that direction. I am new to the area, and both my friend and I are directionally challenged, so we decided to just follow all of the other cars. Eventually we realized that there really wasn’t an outlet. Everyone had been going in the wrong direction. Finally, we got turned around and out of the parking lot. It is likely that one person thought there was an outlet and others just followed him. 

As I think about that experience, I am reminded of all the times throughout Scripture where Jesus refers to us as sheep. Sheep follow each other without really thinking. Human beings are much the same way. Whether it is something as silly as following a line of cars toward a non-existent exit, or something much more serious like following other’s belief systems about worldview questions, we are prone to follow without thinking.

I have a lot of sympathy for pro-choice people because I know that many of them are following the culture without questioning it. In fact, I am prone to the same mistake. If you think about it, this is actually encouraging because it means many pro-choice people are very persuadable. They are not pro-choice because they have thought about the issue and decided that being pro-choice makes the most sense. Instead, they are pro-choice because they are following the culture without stopping to question it. When we confront them with the truth, many of these people see their mistake and are willing to change their perspective.

The same is true of many non-Christians. They have not thought seriously about the claims of Christ. They have not taken time to study the various religions with an aim to discover the truth. Rather than thinking deeply about Christianity and then rejecting it, many people are simply going with the flow of our culture.

This is exciting. It means that our simple conversations can truly change people’s lives. When we engage people in conversations about abortion, worldviews, and the gospel, we may be helping them to think about these issues for the first time. They may not change their minds on the spot, but we have planted a seed that has the potential to one day bear fruit.

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Earlier this month, the JFA team had the joy of training the students at Ellerslie Mission Society. I always love training at Ellerslie because I was first introduced to Justice For All there. It is fun to see everything come full-circle in this way.