training

Thinking about the Unborn Child for the First Time

Stacey walked up to our outreach signs looking curious. We were standing on a busy walkway at Palomar College (CA) in December. I asked a few questions about her thoughts on abortion, and she clarified that she thought abortion should be legal until birth. Here’s my recollection of the rest of the conversation:

Steve: Do you believe abortion should be legal because you believe a woman has a right to her body?

Stacey: Yes. A woman’s right to her body is really important to me.

Steve: I agree that a woman has a right to her body, generally speaking, and I agree that’s really important. Women’s bodily rights have been trampled on and continue to be trampled on throughout the world with practices like slavery, rape, and domestic violence. I think those things are horrific and wrong.

Palomar College Outreach in December 2022: Steve (center, black shirt) and other JFA staff members interact with students.

Stacey: I agree.

Steve: Do you agree with me that a woman’s bodily rights are not simply created or determined by the state? Instead, they’re fundamental. They’re like other human rights. If the state didn’t protect those rights, the state would be wrong.

Stacey: Yes, that’s true.

Pages 4-5 of JFA’s Invitation to Dialogue Brochure.

Steve: I have some pictures over here that might be helpful to our conversation. [I showed her the signs that show pages four and five of the Invitation to Dialogue Brochure.] Look at this young woman pictured here. Can we agree that she has bodily rights that the state should respect?

Stacey: I agree with that.

JFA’s setup at the National Mall on April 26-27 included the signs Steve referred to in his conversation with Stacey.

Steve: Now, what about this toddler? I assume we would agree he shouldn’t be killed. Can we agree he has bodily rights that are fundamental?

Stacey: Yes.

Steve: So the woman and the toddler have the same bodily rights. And those rights are fundamental, so the situation would have to reach a really high bar to justify limiting something so important as a person’s bodily rights. Perhaps the only legitimate way the state could limit those rights is if these people were using their bodies to take away someone else’s bodily rights.

Stacey: That’s a good point.

Steve: Does it make sense to you that if their rights are fundamental, they had them from the moment they began to exist? When did this toddler begin to exist?

Stacey: That makes sense, but I guess I’m not sure. What do you think?

Steve: Well, from fertilization [pointing at image on sign], when the sperm and the egg came together, both ceased to exist, and a new organism came into existence. All that’s been added from then until the toddler stage is food. If we have something as important as fundamental human rights now, I don’t think we could gain those rights by eating. So, I think the woman and the toddler began to exist at fertilization, and that’s also when they gained their fundamental right to their bodies. But that would mean that the embryo has a fundamental right to his body just like the toddler and the woman.

Our conversation continued for ten minutes or so. (Indeed, Stacey contributed much more detailed responses than what my memory has allowed me to include here.) We discussed how the embryo is very different from us (in looks and functions) but is also the same kind of being that we are—a being with the same human nature we have. If this is true, the woman’s fundamental right to her body would not include the right to abortion, because then abortion would be killing a human being with the same bodily rights.

As Stacey got ready to move on from the conversation, she eagerly accepted a copy of the Invitation to Dialogue Brochure that included the same pictures we had been discussing. What she said in parting really surprised me:

Stacey: I never thought about the fetus as a separate person—that it has its own rights we would be taking away. I’ll have to think about that!

At the beginning of this conversation, Stacey sounded completely pro-choice, and frankly, I think I suspected she wouldn’t have much interest in an alternative opinion. She showed the exact opposite throughout our conversation. It’s a lesson I’ve learned again and again: Don’t make assumptions from appearances.

As I found common ground with Stacey repeatedly about bodily rights, showing relational sensitivity to the emotionally heavy topic of what a woman can do with her body, I think she became open to my perspective about the unborn child. That’s the sequence we teach any chance we can: Be relational…then be intellectual. That approach helped Stacey to consider the possibility there was a whole other person involved in the abortion question, and she showed genuine interest in thinking further about that.


Note: This letter is the second in a series of letters on conversation skills we teach volunteers that help them get started having conversations and encourage them to stay active. See “Be a Playmaker” (Feb. 2023) for the first in the series. (March 2024 Update: The third letter in the series, “Only Two Questions?” has just been published. Read it here.)

See the Letters in this Series

Upcoming DC Events

We will be conducting outreach in the DC area on April 24-25. If you’re interested in participating, please submit the JFA Contact Form to receive more details.

See our calendar page for two interactive workshops scheduled to help prepare DC-area pro-life advocates for these events: An in-person Love3 Workshop on April 23 in Warrenton, Virginia, and a special online Love3 workshop April 17-19. Both events are free! Register using the link below.

Watch Kristina Massa present to 2000 people at SFLA's National Pro-Life Summit 2023

We are very proud of Kristina Massa, who presented to 2000 people at the National Pro-Life Summit on January 21. Kristina did a beautiful job helping the audience see some of the essentials of good dialogue through stories of her conversations on campus. I had the privilege of joining her on the platform to model good dialogue for the audience. You can watch the presentation above or click this link for SFLA’s video post.

Three Tips for Helping Volunteers Stay Active for the Long-Term

1. Clarify What and Why.

2. Keep the Goal in View, but Be Satisfied to Do Your Part.

3. Be Relational, then Be Intellectual.

More Helpful Links:

Read the series of letters Steve wrote to explain the tips listed above:

Want to Make a Moral Impact? Help People Stop and Engage.

As our team joined me in Washington, DC last month for the March for Life and the National Pro-Life Summit conference, we were looking for ways to make a moral impact rather than to make just a moral statement (see my January letter for more on this).

At the march, we decided to join the masses with hand-made signs. At the last minute, I decided to pull JFA’s “Hope of Change” exhibit sign from the van. The sign features a Margot Rogers image of the unborn adorned with the same art style as Obama’s iconic campaign signs. We debated whether we would regret carrying the 2x4 foot sign around DC, but just after we settled ourselves on the lawn near the Washington monument, an AP Wire reporter approached wanting to know what the sign was about. The sign had done its job: it caused the viewer to stop and engage. (See pictures from the march at JFA’s Instagram page).

After the march, the main work of the day began: we boarded the metro to head to the offices of the Leadership Institute about 15 minutes outside the city. There we presented an interactive dialogue workshop to students from Colorado Christian University along with various others we had invited – about 50 in total. Why did we make this event interactive, featuring a heavy dose of role-play practice? We wanted these participants to stop being mere spectators of abortion discussions and instead engage those around them. So, we used the same emphasis in the workshop itself: we expected participants to engage with what we were teaching by practicing it themselves right there and then.

The same concern animated our team the next day at the National Pro-Life Summit hosted by Students for Life of America (SFLA). We were in the exhibitor hall where participants in the conference might walk by our table only once during the day. How could we help them stop and engage with the need to be trained to dialogue?

We decided that what stops pro-life advocates in a conference is probably not much different than what stops pro-choice advocates during our outreach events. On campus our poll tables and free speech boards are our most dependable tools that cause people to stop and engage, especially when coupled with an exhibit that challenges the status quo on abortion. (See JFA’s Instagram page for pictures from our February events at three Texas universities: UTSA, Texas State, and Tarleton State.) At this conference filled with passionate pro-life advocates, then, we decided to create special free speech boards with big questions to help these particular passersby stop and engage. It worked beautifully, as you can see from the conference pictures. We had a steady stream of conversations throughout the day about the need for training in dialogue.

Please pray for our upcoming seminar, workshop, and outreach events, that each will help pro-life advocates to stop and engage in learning to dialogue so that they can help pro-choice advocates to stop and engage in rethinking their positions on abortion.

How can you use this concept in your own life to help those around you stop and engage? I suggest sharing a picture of a free speech board from the conference with a pro-life friend, and ask, “How would you answer the question JFA asked on this conference free speech board?”


Recent and Upcoming Events

1/21 March for Life & Workshop (Washington, DC)

1/22 National Pro-Life Summit (Hosted by SFLA)

1/30-31 Workshops in Denton & Stephenville (TX)

2/1-2 Outreach at Tarleton State (Stephenville, TX)

2/13 Seminars (San Marcos & San Antonio, TX)

2/14-17 Outreach at Texas State & UTSA (TX)

2/23 UNL Club Meeting Presentation (Lincoln, NE)

2/26-27 Seminars (Wichita, KS)

2/28-3/1 Outreach at Wichita State (KS)

2/28-3/3 Love3 Interactive Workshop (Online)

March-May Outreach Events in AZ, CO, CA, KS

5/2-5 Love3 Interactive Workshop (Online)

See the JFA Calendar for more events and details!

See Instagram for pictures of recent events!


A Thought About Back-Alley Abortion

I recommend reading all of Steve Wagner’s article on back-alley abortion, but I wanted to note this section towards the end:

Deal with the More Sophisticated Version

Much of the time, the back-alley concern masks the fact that an abortion advocate is assuming the unborn is not a human being. In other words, she is saying, “It’s wrong to make a surgery more dangerous if it is innocuous.” We can agree in principle, then show that the unborn is a human being and the surgery is not innocuous at all.

Once we’ve made our case, the abortion advocate will likely shift to a more sophisticated argument:

“Even if abortion kills a human being, isn’t it better for fewer people to die (at least we can save the mother)? It is better that at least the mother live, than that she and her fetus should die in the back alley. Isn’t it worse for two to die than one?”

This argument assumes that the mother has no other choice but to kill the child. But, of course, she does have alternatives. As I like to say, she has a third option. It’s not, “Either she kills the child by legal abortion or she kills herself and her child by illegal abortion.” The third option is that she can refrain from killing anyone!

Abortion: From Debate to Dialogue – The Interactive Guide (v. 3.32), pp. 165-166 © 2019 Justice For All, Inc.

Moral Statement or Moral Impact?

As I write this, seven members of the JFA team are heading towards airports to fly to Washington D.C. to participate with me in the March for Life (Friday, 1/21) and the National Pro-Life Summit (Saturday, 1/22). Since we’ll be marching in opposition to legal abortion, it makes sense that we’d reflect on a question I remember Greg Koukl (str.org) asking years ago that has always stuck with me: Do you want to make a moral statement or a moral impact?

The question is phrased in such a way that it could be seen as purely rhetorical: Obviously we want to make an impact. There isn’t much value to making a statement if in making it we fail to make an impact. Or worse, what if we make an impact contrary to the one we’re intending?

The question is not purely rhetorical, though, because many people are very satisfied with simply making a statement, and many have never reflected on how we might choose particular activities that are more likely to make an impact. Here’s how I reflect and respond:

Our team doesn’t march simply to make the appropriate statement against legal abortion. We are in DC to multiply our work of training a different kind of advocate to create a different kind of conversation that changes hearts and minds. Changing minds, after all, is essential to protecting unborn children in a democratic society, and protecting the unborn is the moral impact that all of the marchers long to see. Please pray with us, then, that through these events we’ll find and inspire potential interns who want to learn to train others, leaders who want us to train the people in their care, and individual pro-life activists who can make a greater impact with the tools we teach.


Recent Instagram Post

Recent and Upcoming Events

1/13 Workshop: Young Adults Group (Lincoln, NE)

1/15 Seminar: Homeschool Group (Lincoln, NE)

1/15 San Diego Walk for Life (San Diego, CA)

1/21 March for Life Activities (Washington, DC)

1/21 Workshop: Various Groups (Washington, DC)

1/22 National Pro-Life Summit (Hosted by SFLA)

1/30 Seminar (Denton, TX)

2/13 Seminar (Near San Marcos, TX)

2/14-15 Outreach at Texas State (San Marcos, TX)

See www.jfaweb.org/calendar for more events!

“Once I Talked to One, I Couldn't Stop”

A student named Corrie shared this short summary of JFA’s training program back in 2015:

I loved the training and the outreach. I feel like the training prepared me well for the outreach. I was terrified to talk to anyone and made a goal to talk to just one person. Once I talked to one, I couldn't stop. I realized they're just people.

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Imagine for a moment that every follower of Christ caught Corrie’s vision of talking to pro-choice advocates, seeing that “they’re just people” and “I need to talk to them.” Imagine that every follower of Christ also caught hold of Corrie’s feeling that “I can talk to anyone.”

How did Corrie get to this place? In partnership with Christian Heritage Academy, we prepared her and went with her to a college campus, where she “made a goal to talk to just one person.”

That’s why we build this goal into every in-person seminar, every online workshop session, and every outreach event we create: we want every follower of Christ to have the experience of talking to just one person. Then we’re confident he or she will say, along with Corrie, “Once I talked to one, I couldn’t stop.” If Christians would “talk to one” and then find they “cannot stop” talking to all of the people in their sphere of influence, public opinion on abortion could shift very quickly.

Thanks for praying with us and for partnering with us as we train each one to talk to one!


Recent Instagram Post

Free Speech Board from JFA Outreach Event at University of Oklahoma in March 2021.

Free Speech Board from JFA Outreach Event at University of Oklahoma in March 2021.

JFA Mentors: Indispensable

JFA accomplishes its mission of making abortion unthinkable for millions through volunteers who develop confidence to start their own conversations.  How did one JFA volunteer named Rebecca come to believe she could do this?  JFA’s intentional mentoring process.

In this Impact Report, JFA mentor Jacob Burow shows the steps he and JFA’s other mentors take to help volunteers like Rebecca learn to start life-changing and life-saving conversations. -Stephen Wagner, Director of Training

 

Rebecca (red hair on left) meets Jacob Burow, the JFA trainer who will mentor her through the training program.

 

I noticed right away that Rebecca was very inquisitive. During a break in the seminar, she stayed to ask question after question. With a background in debate, she was intrigued by the arguments we taught, but she was especially fascinated by the way we teach people to dialogue.

On the first day of outreach she listened intently to my conversations, noting how I started them, as well as how I navigated them using the various techniques we teach in the seminar.

Rebecca and Jacob discuss her questions before she starts her own conversations.

 

After listening to several of my conversations, Rebecca had questions. We sat and talked about pro-choice arguments and the best pro-life responses to those arguments. I could tell that Rebecca was ready for her own conversations, so I challenged her to start one.

“I was thinking I would just listen today, and maybe talk to someone tomorrow. Is that alright?” she asked.

“You can,” I replied, “but you might regret it.”

“What do you mean?”

I explained how other volunteers had reported after the outreach that they were sad not to have overcome their fears sooner. They realized how many opportunities for life-changing conversations they had missed.

“I would be happy to go with you to listen and help if you get stuck,” I encouraged her.

Rebecca listens to Jacob in conversation on her first day of JFA outreach at the University of Central Oklahoma.

 

“No, I am going to do this alone. I’ll come back if I have questions.”

I was proud of her as she headed off to the Justice For All Exhibit. Later I went to check on her and found that she had already had eight conversations. I answered a few questions, and then she was ready to get back to it. By the end of the day she had had five more in-depth conversations. Here is what she said about the experience:

“It was not difficult to decide to attend a Justice For All (JFA) seminar. I competed in a debate league during high school, and I thought debate and dialogue sounded right up my alley; however, I hadn't been at the seminar long before I realized they were teaching us something more than a mere debate strategy.

By participating in JFA's seminar, we were trained in the art of graceful engagement… I came to understand how to effectively discuss the daunting subject of abortion which, in the past, was a subject I had tried to avoid…

Justice For All was unlike anything else I had experienced… [The mentors] showed me how to reach out to those who don't know truth, and they challenged me to step up my game… I understand now that I don't need to militantly attack those who do not agree with my stance on abortion.”

Thanks to being personally mentored through the JFA training program, Rebecca has the tools and confidence to start this conversation and many others beyond the outreach.

 

Rebecca learned to show humility and respect in the process of starting tough conversations. I challenged her to continue starting conversations about abortion after the JFA outreach.

That’s actually a challenge for all of us. Too often we desire to stay in our own comfort zones, but that is not where we will find the conversations that we need to have. That is not how we are going to grow as good ambassadors. Rebecca continued,

“God was very good to have me stumble across Justice For All; I am grateful to Him, and to you all. I would like to express a special thanks to my mentor, Jacob, for taking the time to answer my questions and to teach me so much.”

My colleagues and I at JFA are ready to help you step out of your comfort zone and step up to the challenge that is before us. Let us help you learn, like Rebecca, how to share the truth about abortion, one person at a time.

    - Jacob Burow