Nail Party Evangelism

Impact Report, July 2020

A Note From JFA’s Executive Director:  Over the past few months, our team has been exploring the value of using social media for conversations about abortion. We’ve gathered regularly to share stories, to pray, and to evaluate different ideas for starting conversations. When Kaitlyn shared the story featured in this Impact Report, we were all spellbound. While we all long to return to face-to-face conversations at outreach, it appears that there are ways in which social media can open doors for conversation not likely to come about in person.  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

One of JFA’s Instagram posts, above, drew the comment below and led to a conversation. Follow JFA (@picturejusticeforall) to help us start more conversations.

One of JFA’s Instagram posts, above, drew the comment below and led to a conversation. Follow JFA (@picturejusticeforall) to help us start more conversations.

From the very beginning, JFA has stretched my comfort zone. When COVID-19 forced us to cancel many of our spring outreach events and the leadership team announced that we were going to focus for the time being on using social media to have conversations about abortion, I knew that my comfort zone was going to be stretched yet again. Thankfully, our team has spent time praying together and encouraging each other as we have tackled this difficult project.

I have never used any form of social media. It intimidates me. Nevertheless, I started an Instagram account in the hope that I might be able to use it to start conversations with pro-choice people. I followed a couple of pro-life pages and began reading through the comments on their posts. I was intimidated by the many nasty comments from both pro-life and pro-choice people. I was determined to at least try to have a conversation, though, so I sent a direct message to every pro-choice person I saw regardless of whether their comments were nasty or not.

To my surprise, even the individuals who had left particularly offensive comments were generally open to dialogue when I engaged them in a respectful and friendly way. Within mere hours of starting an Instagram account, I was talking with a pro-choice girl. She shared with me her story and some of the difficult experiences that have shaped her views on this issue and other issues. We talked about the problem of pain, worldviews, and the gospel. Through this and other conversations, I was amazed and excited to discover that it is possible to have meaningful dialogue over Instagram.

I never would have thought that social media could become a platform for dialogue, much less that it might open doors for impact that in-person events never could.

I was having a conversation with another young woman on Instagram. She was very pro-choice. We talked about abortion for awhile and eventually began talking about faith. She shared her belief that the world is a simulation: We are characters in some more powerful being’s video game. We don’t have free will. Our every movement is determined by that other being.

I believe that different religious perspectives are worth discussing for their own sake, but I also believe that our religious perspective often becomes the foundation upon which all of our other beliefs are built. If someone believes that no one has free will, that we are just characters in a video game, it is likely that their pro-choice perspective flows from that belief and thus we must challenge that underlying belief system.

We talked for a while on Instagram direct message about her beliefs. After a while, she asked me what I believed, and I shared with her about my faith in Christ. But there are ways in which discussing these kinds of topics over direct message can be difficult, tedious, and frustrating. One has to type everything out, wait sometimes hours for a response only to be confused by the response, ask a question to clarify, then wait again.

Instagram has a video call option, so I asked her if she would be interested in doing a video call so that we could dive deeper into our discussion of our different worldviews. She said yes, and we picked a time that worked for both of us.

When I called, she answered and said that she had forgotten we were going to talk and that she and her friends were doing their nails. I said that we could definitely wait until a better time, but she insisted that we talk then. I expected a one-on-one conversation but what I got was a group conversation as her friends chimed in with their perspectives.

Background Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

I asked more questions about their worldviews, and they asked questions about mine. I shared about my journey of coming to faith in Christ and some of the evidence for the resurrection of Jesus that I find to be convincing.

We talked for about an hour. When the conversation was over, I felt deeply disappointed. It wasn’t what I had hoped for. I had planned to have a one-on-one conversation. I had planned to dive seriously into our worldviews. Instead, I ended up in a group conversation that was too casual, lighthearted, and chaotic to allow us to focus in a serious way on the important topics I had come to discuss.

As much as I was disappointed by it, I believe that God had a plan. I intended to share the gospel with just one person and ended up sharing it with six different people all at once.

It also amazes me to think that a total stranger with a very different worldview than mine would invite me to “join” a party with her friends, share my perspective, and have a conversation. I didn’t think social media had any potential for impact let alone that it might allow me to accomplish something I couldn’t have done in person. I want to invite you to join us and try to have conversations on social media. You might be surprised by what God does through you.


Get Equipped to Create Conversations!

We’ve recently added new “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” interactive online workshops to our calendar. Get all of the details at www.jfaweb.org/7 and www.jfaweb.org/calendar.

Join Us for “Encouragement for Conversations”

We’ve just launched a brand-new program to support and encourage you as you seek to create conversations on social media and in everyday life. JFA’s experienced dialogue mentors host a video conference call every Thursday at 3 PM Central to allow you and other like-minded pro-life advocates to share stories, pray, and learn new ways to start conversations. Join us once, occasionally, or every week! Go to www.jfaweb.org/register and select “Encouragement for Conversations.”

An Update from The Executive Director

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA volunteers often say that gathering the courage to show up to a JFA outreach event is the hardest part of their JFA training experience. For those who are willing, though, starting that first conversation can be the most important step in learning to dialogue. God seems to enjoy using that willing step of a fearful participant to create beautiful things from their conversations. After COVID-19 changed our outreach plans for the spring, JFA’s trainers were put back in the shoes of new volunteers as they focused on a new, intimidating form of outreach: creating conversations via social media.

Having little social media experience, JFA trainer Kaitlyn Donihue was not looking forward to online dialogue. Indeed, many on our team were disappointed with the prospect of exchanging productive in-person conversations for social media “equivalents” we predicted would be inferior in just about every way. Kaitlyn was willing, though, and like each of our new outreach volunteers, she initiated one conversation at a time and trusted God for the rest.

Recently Kaitlyn shared a story from a social media conversation that amazed our whole team. (Click here to read her story, “Nail Party Evangelism.”) Despite Kaitlyn’s fear and discomfort, God used Kaitlyn’s openness to create something surprising and beautiful. Are you willing to take the same step in hope of experiencing God’s work through you? See below to register for online workshops and our brand new “Encouragement for Conversations” program!

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director


Online Learning Opportunities


“7 Conversations in 7 Hours”

7/20-8/31: Mondays, 8-9 PM Central
7/22-9/2: Wednesdays, 10-11 AM Central
Makeups to be scheduled soon!

“Encouragement for Conversations”

Thursdays at 3 PM Central

Having been in the pro-life movement since 1980, this training is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. At our local [pregnancy] center, we are making it essential for our Client Advocates (in addition to their regular training).
— Mike Brady, Reflecting on JFA’s “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Online Workshop Series

JFA Offering Free Workshops Online - New Dates Added!

“7 CONVERSATIONS” ONLINE WORKSHOPS

NEW DATES ADDED!

7/20-8/31: Monday Nights, 8-9 PM Central

7/22-9/2: Wednesday Mornings, 10-11 AM Central

I am not an articulate person and definitely avoid anxiety-producing situations of talking to someone who might disagree with me. But because of the course and the website I now have a resource...to help me to know what to say, and most importantly how to say it.
— Donna, "7 Conversations in 7 Hours" participant

VIDEO: "Every Person Has a Story" - JFA Outreach Reflection

"Have you ever had the chance to talk to somebody who's been through this experience before?"

"No - I'm the only guy that I know who's ever gotten a girl pregnant and she's had an abortion."

It was a conversation that JFA trainer Rebecca Haschke nearly gave up having altogether. After JFA's 2017 outreach event at Colorado State University, Rebecca shared how this conversation ended up teaching her an important "lesson in love."  

Note:  Special thanks to Genesis Media Solutions for producing this video.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 7"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 7

Respond to Session 7 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 7

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation.

Other Conversation Starters

Contact the webinar admin to request more conversation starters.

In-Depth Resources for Questions Covered in Session 7 (“Extended Q&A”)

Links to Important JFA Resources

Note: This post was originally written on 7/7/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 6"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 6

Respond to Session 6 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

A Suggested Beginning for Your Response

“I agree that women’s bodily rights are important and that they are still being trampled on throughout the world. Domestic violence, rape, slavery. All of these practices are horrific and evil, and I stand with you against these harms against women.

So, for abortion to be made illegal, I agree that it would be a big deal, because we would be telling women there is something they can’t do with their body. We’d be restricting them. I can understand how this topic seems heavy and how the person who wants to restrict abortion seems unconcerned about how this is affecting a woman’s right to her body.

For it to make sense to make abortion illegal, abortion would have to be much more than removing a mass of tissue. If that’s all it was, a simple surgery to remove a mass, I agree women should be able to get that by law.

Let’s say, though, that the case I’ve made that the unborn is a human being with equal rights to the rest of us. Then the woman’s bodily rights matter, but there is another human being with bodily rights, too. So, then a law against abortion may still be unjustified, but it at least is within the range of being possibly a reasonable policy. Can we agree on that?” - Steve Wagner


 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 6

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Ask if he or she agrees that generally speaking, a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, and point out that this right has been trampled throughout history (and continues to be in the present day). Then ask if abortion is an important component of that right. Throughout the conversation, focus on the empathy we developed in Sessions 5 and 6 (meeting the “Relational Challenge”) as you dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share the It’s Her Body Article

Ask a friend to read the first installment of Steve Wagner’s “It’s Her Body” series. Use what you learned in Session 6 to create a productive conversation with your friend.

Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

We shared this conversation idea in Session 5, but it also can help you start with common ground in conversations about a woman’s right to her body. Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

Option 4: Share the ERI Video

Share the video below to start a conversation. We suggest prefacing the video with a warning about its graphic descriptions of abortion as well as a discussion of the content of the “It’s Her Body” series linked above.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 6 (“Do Bodily Rights Mean Abortion Is Okay?”)

Note: This post was originally written on 7/1/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020. The “Suggested Beginning to Your Response” section was added on 8/26/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

“I had never spoken to my friend about abortion…”

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added …

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added workshop dates - Register here.

More than 70 people have participated in our “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” workshops since we began offering them six weeks ago. (New dates have been added. See below!)

At the conclusion of each hour-long Zoom session, we challenge participants to start a conversation using what they’ve learned during that hour. Elizabeth, a participant from Florida, wrote to us after Session Four:

I had never spoken to my friend, T, about abortion, so when I asked her stance she immediately went into her personal story. As a pregnant 16 year old she’d had an initial consultation and scheduled [an] appointment for a saline abortion at 6 months pregnant. She said everyone assumed that’s what she should do and in response to their reactions, she [scheduled the appointment] but had not yet told her mother. The baby’s father came to her house one day saying his sister wanted to speak with her. They spoke on the phone and the sister told her not to abort the baby, that it was a “living baby” and not to worry, that things would work out and offered her help such as babysitting and a place to live.

The panel shown above, part of JFA’s “Stop and Think” exhibit, features a fetus at 18 weeks old (from fertilization). This is the age of the unborn around the beginning of the 6 month of pregnancy (the same stage of pregnancy when Elizabeth’s friend, T, had first scheduled an abortion appointment).

T told me then “that was the first time it had ever occurred to me that it was a baby. His sister talked about it in a way that showed she cared.” The sister also urged her that if she had an abortion it would be a big regret. She decided then and there against the abortion and had the courage to tell her mom that she was pregnant. Her mother was upset about the pregnancy and even more about her unwillingness to abort but after some time she came around to the idea and gladly helped prepare for the baby’s arrival. That baby is now 30 years old and a successful, independent young man.

So, following that story I asked about her general views on abortion. She stated she’s firmly pro-life. I went through the science of the unborn, establishing the biological citizenship of the growing baby to the human family. She agreed with the various statements as I laid out those points as well as the points of the baby having equal rights. When asked if there was any situation in which she would believe an abortion is warranted, she stated the rape exception.

Since we have yet to cover that topic, I found common ground in agreeing that it would be a horrible situation for the mother and she deserves care and justice. I also went back to the previous points asking if the baby conceived in rape is any less human or any less deserving of equal human rights. She acquiesced that indeed, it is not any less.

Notice how Elizabeth was able to help T even though T’s specific concern about rape was not to be covered until the next week of the online workshop series. Elizabeth used the skills she had learned already to help T think through the case of rape. (Indeed, because T is Elizabeth’s friend, Elizabeth can also go back to her to discuss some of what we covered in Session Five.)

Elizabeth’s friend T needed help when she became pregnant, and even though some in the family disagreed, T’s boyfriend’s sister spoke up. She offered reasons to think the unborn was a human being, and she offered practical help. This illustrates why we are emphasizing with each of the participants in our online workshops the importance of creating conversations.

Note also, though, how even in her passion for unborn children, T hadn’t yet connected the dots for unborn children produced through rape. Once Elizabeth was willing to do the uncomfortable work of creating a conversation with T, it became clear quickly that they had only a small disagreement, and Elizabeth was able to help T think more clearly. Reading Elizabeth’s account, I’m struck by how the conversation seems so natural, even as the friends discussed their disagreements. Let’s pray for Elizabeth as she continues the conversation with T, and let’s pray that T will have opportunities to speak to others. Perhaps T will even join us for our next “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series, beginning on July 20! You can, too, and you can invite a friend!

Thank you for partnering with us to train more advocates to create a different kind of conversation, one that ministers to hearts and changes minds.

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director


I am not an articulate person and definitely avoid anxiety-producing situations of talking to someone who might disagree with me. But because of the course and the website I now have a resource...to help me to know what to say, and most importantly how to say it.
— Donna, Online Workshop Participant

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 5"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 5

Respond to Session 5 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 5

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Mention that one of the most common topics that comes up in relation to the topics of unintended pregnancy and abortion is the topic of rape. Ask what your friend thinks about abortion in this case late in pregnancy…and early in pregnancy. Use what you learned in Session 5 to dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share Pages 2-3 from the JFA Brochure

IMG_9954.jpg

Use the digital brochure or send this image. Ask, “which circumstances concern you most.” Usually, rape is one of the most common circumstances people raise. Use what you learned in Session 5 to create a productive conversation with your friend.



Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 5 (“The Question of Rape”)

Note: This post was originally written on 6/19/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 4"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 4

Respond to Session 1 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 4

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Share the Equal Rights Mystery and ask how the person would explain what is the same about all of us who deserve to be treated equally. If humanness is the answer given, then ask what this would mean for the unborn. If another answer is given, clarify which animals and humans would be in and which would be out of the equal rights community (like the blue box activity). Ask, “Does this implication of your view make sense?”

Option 2: Share the Video of CK’s Conversation

Share the video below and ask your friend what he or she thinks of the conversation.

Option 3: Share the Video of Becca Hotovy’s Conversation

Share the video below and ask your friend what he or she thinks of the conversation.

Option 4: Share these Social Media Posts

Option 5: Share Question 22 from Common Ground Without Compromise

Question 22 asks, “Are you opposed to sexism and racism?” You can share the short discussion that follows to start a conversation. Download and share the book at its web page.

 

She's Not Sure What to Think.... How About You?

When asked about her views on abortion, this student shares mixed feelings.

Do you have a clear view on abortion, or are you not totally sure what to think?

What factors contribute to your certainty or uncertainty?

(Warning: Graphic image briefly in view) "When are we human?" "What is the basis for human rights?" and "Should we 'impose' our morality on the government?" CK Wisner discusses these questions related to abortion with a student at CSU.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 3"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 3

Respond to Session 1 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 3

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Focus on finding common ground first regarding the circumstances the person brings up in order to justify abortion. Then trot out a toddler to try to bring clarity to the need to answer the question, “What is the unborn?” If the person seems open, share some of the biological evidence supporting the idea that the unborn is a living human organism. Make sure to listen to understand, ask these questions with an open heart, listen to understand what the person means with his or her responses, and find common ground when possible. Gently challenge mistakes in thinking using the ideas you learned this week.

Option 2: Use Video from EHD to Start a Conversation

Share the beautiful video images from EHD (JFA’s “What Is the Unborn?” page or the Links page) on social media or through email. You might say:

“In the midst of the ugly and violent images on social media and news this week, I learned about some beautiful video of unborn children in my class on unintended pregnancy and abortion that I thought might be uplifting to you.”

Option 3: Share these Social Media Posts