Is Suffering Ever Better?

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"Suffering" from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit

This panel from JFA's Art of Life Exhibit features "Sorrowing Old Man (At Eternity's Gate)" by the famous Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh (1890).  He completed it only two short months before his own death.

Nearly every reason for obtaining abortion relates to some form of suffering, whether experienced by the woman at the moment of her decision, or which the woman fears she or her child will undergo in the future:

• "My parents will hate me if they find out I'm pregnant."

• "My boyfriend will break up with me if I don't get the abortion."

• "I definitely can't afford to care for a baby now."

• "I don't even know who the father of the baby is - I don't want my child to grow up without a dad."

• "My education and career goals will never pan out if I have a child to raise on my own."

• "Pregnancy is making me unbearably sick - I have to remain on bedrest just to keep the baby alive."

Or, perhaps:

• "This baby has a lethal fetal anomaly and will die at birth. I don't want my child to go through that, and I don't think I can watch him undergo that much suffering."

The "Suffering" panel shown nearby states, "The art of life is better than abortion."  Do you agree that it is better for a woman to endure suffering than for a child to be killed by abortion?  And if it is likely that a child will suffer, do you think that allowing that child to endure suffering is better than killing him or her by abortion?  Why or why not?  Share your thoughts in the comments below; or better yet, share this post with a friend and start a conversation. 

(For more information about the painting, including insight from Van Gogh himself into the work's intended meaning, see JFA's Art of Life Exhibit page.)

Three Miracles in One Conversations

Impact Report, October 2017

By Susanna Buckley, JFA Intern

Note:  JFA’s interns are hard at work this fall, along with the rest of the JFA team, creating conversations that change hearts and minds.  In this Impact Report, Susanna Buckley, intern from Virginia, shares a beautiful conversation from our recent Purdue University outreach.  She saw God work through two well-placed questions to help a young woman make connections to her experience which surprised even her, convincing her that abortion is not a reasonable option for responding to suffering and difficulty.  Susanna’s story is accompanied by pictures of a few of the hundreds of conversations our interns, trainers, and volunteers created at the Purdue University event and another recent outreach event at the University of Minnesota.  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

JFA Intern Susanna Buckley (right), who authored this report, at JFA’s University of Minnesota (UMN) outreach in October

I turned around after finishing one conversation and noticed her standing there, looking at the exhibit.  I waved and smiled, “Can I ask you what you think about abortion?”

Typically, when I ask that question, people stand there and ponder the question for a moment before answering, but she was ready.  After smiling back, she answered with a question of her own.  “Say there’s a terminally ill woman who is passing on her illness to her unborn child.  Shouldn’t we give the woman the opportunity to end her pregnancy so that she doesn’t have to watch her child suffer?”

JFA Intern David Rodriguez (center, right) at Purdue University in September

The question took me by surprise, but it reminded me of a thought experiment one of the more experienced JFA staff members had shared with me.  I asked her if I could ask her another question, and she said yes.  “You have a friend on the other side of the world who calls you up and says, ‘I just found out I have cancer and have only four months to live.’  Do you wait until about month three and say, ‘I guess I should visit her?’  Or do you take the next plane out?”

She didn’t hesitate at all.  “The next plane!  Absolutely!”  This was very encouraging to me, so I followed up: “Of course!  Now apply that to the mother in the hypothetical situation you gave me a moment ago.”  I hoped she would see another possible approach to terminally ill unborn children, that instead of killing them, we can cherish the time we have with them.

JFA Intern Grace Fontenot (left) at Purdue University in September

Her eyes lit up.  “My mom did that!”  She explained that her little brother had only been alive three days after he was born.  Her mom stayed by his side every moment until he died.  “I only wish I would have met him.  I’ve never thought of him in relation to this before.  I cannot stand by my question with that in mind.”

JFA Chief Operations Officer Paul Kulas (right, with brochure) at the UMN outreach in October

We exchanged some stories, and I got her name.  Then she came up with a new question.  “Say there’s someone with a terminal illness who doesn’t want to live anymore because he is tired of knowing he’s going to die.  Should we give him the chance to choose assisted suicide?”

Again, the question seemed to come from left field, but it brought to mind a question I find very important.  I just asked, “Do you believe in miracles?”

JFA Trainer Jon Wagner (left) at Purdue in September

Immediately a light turned on in her mind, and she burst out, “I’m a miracle!”  Diving into her personal story, she explained that she was born with what her doctors described as a terminal illness.  Defying the odds, she turned her “few months” diagnosis into the young woman standing in front of me.  “I’m only here because of a miracle!  I cannot stand by my question any more.”

Stephanie Gray, author of Love Unleashes Life, joined the JFA team for the Purdue outreach.  Here she listens to a Purdue student.  Click here to learn more about Stephanie or to purchase her book.

We shared more stories about miracles we had witnessed in our lives.  She wasn’t a Christian, but she let me talk about the amazing things I have seen God do in my life and the lives of others.  The last thing she told me was, “I would absolutely make every opportunity for a miracle to happen.  I hope I get the chance to do that one day.”

I left this conversation not just marveling at the miracle of this person standing before me, but also at the two miracles I witnessed as God worked through two of my questions to help this person make connections I could never have orchestrated on my own.  Thanks be to God!

Note: Go to our Calendar Page to see more pictures of JFA’s interns, trainers, and volunteers in action at Purdue University, University of Minnesota, and other recent outreach events.

Radio Broadcasts: JFA Stories & Upcoming Events in MN

Steve Wagner facilitates an open mic dialogue with students at the University of North Texas.

Two Minneapolis area radio shows featured the work of Justice For All this month, gearing up for two area JFA interactive workshops (9/30 and 10/1) and JFA campus outreach at the University of Minnesota (10/2 and 10/3). (Find event details and registration information by clicking here.)

Click below to listen:

• JFA's Steve Wagner on Living the Gospel of Life radio show (Interview is introduced just after minute 13:00)

• JFA's Steve Wagner and JFA volunteer Ashley Burns on Rediscover: Hour on Relevant Radio 1330AM - (Interview with Steve begins just before minute 6:00; Hear Ashley share her JFA story at minute 26:00.)

  • Click here to read notes from this interview posted by Steve on the JFA blog, including helpful links and resources.

Recent/Upcoming Events and New Student Guide

Please pray with us as we release our new guide for pro-life students: Conversations Change Campuses.  Pray that it helps more student clubs create outreach events and conversations.  Pray also that those clubs will invite us to partner with them.  Pray for our upcoming events, that God will cause hearts and minds to change as a result of conversations created by our staff, volunteers, and audience members:

JFA staff members and student volunteers create conversations in front of JFA's "Stop and Think" Exhibit at Purdue University in September.  See more photos from this outreach in the JFA Photo Archive.

West Lafayette, IN:  9/4— Interactive Workshop — St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church

West Lafayette, IN:  9/5,6 — “Stop and Think” Exhibit Outreach Event — Purdue University

Lawrence, KS:  9/24 — Interactive Seminar — St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center

Chanhassen, MN:  9/30 — Interactive Workshop — St. Hubert Catholic Church

Minneapolis, MN:  10/1 — Interactive Workshop — University of Minnesota

Minneapolis, MN:  10/2,3 — Ten-Foot Kiosk Outreach Event — University of Minnesota

Atchison, KS: 10/12 - Interactive Seminar - Benedictine College, Ferrell Academic Center

Albuquerque, NM:  TBD

See All Events and Register to Attend 

Photos from Recent Events

Conversation Starter - "One Tiny Free Speech Board Comment"

See the Featured Conversation Starter for this month (a small comment hidden in this free speech board) by clicking on the image above or the links below. 

Hiding in the corner of a JFA Free Speech Board (pictured) at our Colorado State event in April was a tiny gem of a comment that’s also a great conversation starter you can share with pro-choice advocates and pro-life advocates alike.  The comment helps people with different positions on abortion clarify where they really disagree, start with common ground, and give each other the benefit of the doubt.  You can find the post titled “One Tiny Free Speech Board Comment” at the links below.  Go check it out, and then share it on social media.

Ten Easy Ways to Start Meaningful Dialogue

"Ten Easy Ways to Start Meaningful Dialogue," an article by Steve Wagner (JFA's Executive Director), was featured in a a recent blog post by Amy K. Hall for Stand to Reason.  You can read it by clicking on the image nearby.

Are you looking for a way to put these principles into practice?  We invite you to participate in the JFA training program, which includes a university campus outreach experience.

Quick Links:

Read the Article
Read Steve's Book 
Invite Steve to Speak
Learn about Upcoming JFA Events

Notes from my Interview with Rediscover Hour on Relevant Radio in MN

I just finished talking with Patrick Conley of Rediscover Hour, a radio show based in Minnesota.  (Update: You can now listen to the interview here.)  Here are links to some of the resources, events, and stories I mentioned on the show: 

Learn more about the Chanhassan Workshop on Sept. 30 on our Calendar page.

Register for upcoming JFA events: Sept. 30 Chanhassan Workshop or Oct. 1 UMN Workshop.

Read Steve Wagner's Book: Common Ground Without Compromise (Free eBook Available).

JFA's Learn at Home Program gives you four fifteen-minute exercises to prepare you for your first conversation. 

Read about Catherine's experience with her first JFA event and then equipping Amanda to help save a life.

See our Stories page for more stories of conversations, changed hearts, and saved lives.

See our Dialogue Examples page for newsletters including word-for-descriptions of conversations. 

Start conversations on social media by sharing posts from our 7conversations Twitter page or our "Start the Conversation" blog feed.

Bonus: Get JFA's monthly letter with stories, dialogue tips, and encouragement.

Bonus: See what happens when you drag a friend out of bed and attend a JFA training event, like the event coming up in Chanhassan (Miriam's Story).

We hope to see you at the upcoming events in Chanhassan and Minneapolis!

Two Buckets

Impact Report, September 2017

Tammy Cook, JFA Training Specialist

In this Impact Report, JFA dialogue artist and trainer Tammy Cook shares an approach to conversation that she’s found to be very helpful for people who are pro-choice because they are reluctant to tell others what to do.  Her “two buckets” concept helped Dixon think differently about abortion, even though seeing abortion as a harm had already been covered in the conversation once.  That’s one of the valuable lessons here: Many times, people need multiple passes at a concept from different angles in order to “see” the truth.  In the conversation, you’ll also see Tammy modeling other conversational approaches we teach in our seminar, including trotting out a toddler, asking questions with an open heart, and using visual aids.  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

The Lory Student Center Plaza was buzzing with students on a crisp morning in April.  It was the first of three days in which Justice For All displayed the Stop and Think Exhibit at Colorado State University.  Hundreds of students glanced up at the 12-foot display as they rushed to class.  A student named “Dixon” stopped to ask a question.

Dixon:  What is this all about?

Tammy:  We are an organization named Justice For All.  We were invited by the Students for Life club to discuss the topic of abortion with CSU students.  We want to ask students what they think and then have a healthy and respectful dialogue.  What do you think?

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JFA volunteer Bryan (above, second from right) talks with a student while Tammy (above, seated center) and another volunteer talk with Dixon.

Dixon:  I don’t think I have a say.  I don’t think we can tell other people what to do.

Tammy:  Thank you for sharing.  May I ask you a few questions to better understand your view?

Dixon:  Sure.

Tammy:  It sounds like it’s important to you to not tell others what they can or can’t do.  Do you mind sharing with me why that’s important to you?

Dixon:  Well, I don’t like people telling me what to do, and I think most people feel that way.

Tammy:  I agree with you – I think most people are sensitive to being told what they can or can’t do.

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Tammy talks with Dixon while using the JFA Exhibit Brochure as a visual aid.  To see more photos from JFA's April 2017 outreach event at Colorado State University, visit the gallery page.

Dixon:  [nodding head] Right.

Tammy:  Let me give you a scenario and ask what you think about it.  Imagine that a woman has a two-year-old son, and she’s having a really tough life.  She can’t afford to feed or take care of her son.  This might seem like an odd question, but bear with me: “Should she be allowed to kill her two-year-old son, if that’s what she wants to do?”

Dixon:  No, absolutely not.

Tammy:  I agree.  Why can’t she kill him?

Dixon:  Because he’s a child.

Tammy:  Right.  Would you agree that he’s a human being like the mother?

Dixon:  Yes.

Tammy:  So if the unborn child is a human being like the two-year-old, then wouldn’t it be just as wrong to kill the unborn child through abortion as it would for the mother to kill her two-year-old?

Dixon:  I’ve never thought about it that way.  I guess that could change things.  [He paused.]  But I still don’t think we can tell others what they can or can’t do.  Each person should have the freedom to make his own choices.

Is abortion merely a personal preference, or is it a choice that harms? (“Two Buckets” Illustration by Joanna Bai)

Tammy:  I agree with you that freedom is important.  Maybe it would help to break down our types of choices into two categories.  Let’s picture them in two separate buckets.  Bucket number one contains choices that are our personal preferences.  My “personal preference” bucket would contain two of my favorite foods, strawberries and broccoli.  People can choose to eat or not eat strawberries or broccoli, but that choice does not harm other people.  Bucket number two contains choices that cause serious harm like murder, stealing, and rape.  Would you agree that people shouldn’t have the choice to do any of those three things? *

Dixon:  Yes.

Tammy:  Why not?

Dixon:  Because they’re wrong.

Tammy:  I agree.  Each of these harms a human being, right?

Dixon:  Yes.

Tammy:  Do you see the difference?  Someone who chooses to eat or not eat broccoli does not harm another person, but someone who chooses to rape does harm another person, right? 

Dixon:  Yes.

Tammy:  And since abortion takes the life of a human being, would you agree that it belongs in the same bucket as rape and stealing?

Dixon:  Yes.  Wow!  This has been enlightening.  You’ve given me a lot to think about.  What if I hear of someone who is thinking about having an abortion?  What should I do?

Tammy:  Good question!  Let me show you an app on my phone that you can download.  [I showed him a video of an eight-week embryo using the “See Baby Pregnancy Guide” app for smartphones and tablets from the Endowment for Human Development (EHD).  Click here to download the app for free.]

Dixon:  Wow, that’s cool.

Dixon had to get to class, but before he left, I was also able to show him how to use the JFA Exhibit Brochure to help someone considering abortion.  He thanked me for all of the new information and appeared to have a genuine change of heart about abortion.

* I said this a bit differently on campus, and Dixon understood my meaning.  I've slightly changed the wording in this dialogue to more clearly illustrate my meaning in print.  Please take this portion of the dialogue to be capturing the gist of the conversation rather than the precise wording I used on campus.

September 2021 / April 2022 Update: See below for another story of a conversation in which Tammy used the “Two Buckets” analogy.

One Tiny Free Speech Board Comment

This free speech board was full of responses to our Stop and Think Exhibit Outreach at Colorado State University in April 2017.  But wait...

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...Hiding in the upper left-hand corner, we found the following very tiny gem: 

"We can't have a real, productive conversation about this until we acknowlidge that most pro-choice people love children and most pro-life people love women.  What we disagree on is definitions.  Virtually no one thinks its okay to murder babies, but if a fetus is not defined as a baby or an individual then Pro-life people seem heartless.  Virtually no one thinks it's okay to force a woman to do something with/to her body against her will, but if a fetus is not defined as part of a woman's body, but a person, pro-choice people seem heartless. 

"Now let's talk!  Recognizing that you and I can disagree about this definition + both be loving people!  Let's talk science!"

- Anonymous, Colorado State University, April 2017 (spelling and punctuation preserved)

What do you think of this person's "way forward"? 

Our favorite line here is, "Now let's talk."  What do you think?  We want to listen.  Share your opinion in the comments box below, or share your opinion at our 7conversations Twitter page. 

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See more photos from this outreach in JFA's April 2017 - CSU gallery.

Must Women Make War?

Source: Getty.  (This image is featured on JFA's Art of Life Exhibit.)

Reading about Kate O'Beirne's death in a memorial by Hadley Arkes, I came across her description of the abortion right as a sort of act of "war" in the struggle for equality: 

"Feminist fundamentalism holds that the battle of the sexes can’t be won unless women make war on the tiniest enemies of their independence."

What do you think?  Do women need abortion to assert their equality?  Could a path to equal recognition and equal treatment without killing be possible?  (See the "Erase" sign in our Stop and Think Exhibit for a visual representation of this question.  Warning: Graphic)  Does abortion constitute the making of war on unborn humans, the "enemies of independence"?  Or, is Kate O'Beirne misleading her reader with overblown rhetoric?   

[Note: That quote originated in this interview on National Review.]

VIDEO: "I've Started to Change My View"

Sarah, talking to CSU students during her 2017 JFA mission trip experience (Watch her share about one outreach conversation in the video, below.)

Sarah volunteered with JFA as a mission trip participant in 2017.  During her training experience, she took part in seminars and a two-day outreach event at Colorado State University (CSU).  In this video, Sarah shares about one encouraging conversation in which she clearly saw that thoughtful dialogue about abortion "really does change people's minds."

Note:  Special thanks to Genesis Media Solutions for producing this video.

QUICK LINKS:

• Join Us for a Mission Trip

• Explore Resources for Students & Clubs

• Learn about Our Passion

• Invest in JFA's Mission

• Join the Conversation on Twitter

Recent and Upcoming Events - Please Pray

Please pray with us that God will cause hearts and minds to change as a result of conversations created by our staff, volunteers, and audience members:

JFA volunteer Laura Haschke shares the JFA Exhibit Brochure with a student at the University of Kansas (KU).  To see more JFA event photos, click here.

Austin, TX:  8/20,23 — Interactive Workshops — Hyde Park Baptist (Jeremy Gorr, Jon Wagner)

Wichita, KS:  8/23,24 — Poll Table Outreach — Wichita State University

West Lafayette, IN:  9/4 — Interactive Workshop — St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church

West Lafayette, IN:  9/5,6 — Large Exhibit Outreach Event — Purdue University

Lawrence, KS:  9/24 — Interactive Seminar — St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center

Chanhassen, MN:  9/30 — Interactive Workshop — St. Hubert Catholic Church

Minneapolis, MN:  10/2,3 — Kiosk Outreach Event — University of Minnesota

Austin, TX:  10/14 — Interactive Seminar — For the City Center

List of All Recent and Upcoming Events 

Photos from Recent Events

Featured Resource - "Why I Love Siberians"

In his letter this month entitled "Why I Love Siberians," JFA’s Director, Steve Wagner, shares three things that you can use to prepare for conversations:  (1) In the third paragraph, he summarizes the case for the pro-life position in a memorable way.  (2) He then shares an analogy that builds common ground about the difficulty of seeing early embryos as valuable, but also challenges listeners to let facts determine how they act towards the embryo.  (3) Finally, he gives some perspective on how to judge whether or not a conversation is worthwhile.

Featured Conversation Starter - "Not alive. Not human. Not biology?"

Share Joanna Bai’s recent post, “Not alive.  Not human.  Not biology?” to start a conversation about abortion in a natural way with a friend.  In the post Joanna isolates a short clip from Stephanie Gray’s recent talk at Google headquarters (the talk has more than 106,000 views on YouTube) and then asks three questions to encourage discussion about whether or not the unborn is alive and human...and whether or not these questions matter.

Not alive. Not human. Not biology?

Stephanie Gray refers to a picture of an embryo at seven weeks during her presentation at Google headquarters.

It's nearly impossible to avoid the question of "when life begins" when talking to people about abortion.  In a presentation at Google headquarters, Stephanie Gray shares questions she uses in her conversations on the subject (11:04 - 13:30).  See the clip below.  After watching, we suggest answering the following questions, preferably in dialogue with someone else:

• "Biologically speaking, when do you think a living human organism begins to exist?"

• "Do you believe it is possible for pro-choice and pro-life advocates to agree on a clear answer to this question?"

• "How do you integrate the biology of when humans begin with your view on abortion, if at all?"

(You can also respond using the comments section below or using the version of this post at our @7conversations Twitter feed.)

More on this Topic: 

• What is the unborn? (scientific opinions and stunning visuals)