Justice For All
A Conversation, a Seed Planted, and a Life Saved
A Conversation, a Seed Planted, and a Life Saved
Kaitlyn Donihue
Bridge to Healing
Bridge to Healing
Kristine Hunerwadel
"Cast Down Your Cares"
"Cast Down Your Cares"
Steve Wagner
They Stop and Think (Then We Pray)
They Stop and Think (Then We Pray)
Kaitlyn Donihue
Connecting the Dots
Connecting the Dots

Love3 Participant Has an Extraordinary Conversation…with Her Husband

“[In response to the Love3 assignment to create a conversation], I engaged in a conversation with my husband. I was surprised to hear that he is pro-life but only in certain situations. I kept asking questions to gather information, although I was struggling and wanting to challenge his position. I realized that I need to work on asking questions without the intent to engage, and I also need to work on listening.

“My husband said that he is pro-life, except in the circumstances of rape or chromosomal /health abnormalities in the child.

“I asked him further questions like, ‘Even in those circumstances, are you okay with an abortion in the seventh month?’ Although he said yes, I could see he was unsure of his stance.

“We concluded that he is pro-life except in the circumstances of rape or medical abnormality, and he believes abortions should only be legal in those circumstances...and it should be allowed at any point in the pregnancy, no matter how far along the pregnancy was.

“Afterwards, I asked him about his thoughts on how the conversation went. He said that he was ready to engage in an argument, but that because I kept asking questions, he didn’t feel the need to engage in an argument. He also said that my questions actually made him start to question some of his views and made him think that he might not be right in having certain views.

“I was absolutely shocked about his views, but even more so by his assessment of our conversation, and how he actually started to question his stance by the end of our conversation.”

(Note: This post was featured in JFA’s February 2021 newsletter.)

Instagram Comment

This morning I saw a comment referring to our recent Instagram post about Roe v. Wade (right).

I decided to attempt a conversation, even given the very unfavorable conditions. This post is really a text message format, and it’s a public post rather than a direct message. What’s more, there are no less than ten distinct assertions or arguments in the comment, and some of them refer to complicated issues for which sound bites aren’t helpful.

After a few false starts, I wrote a short response to move the conversation forward, aiming to live out our “Love3” idea by showing equal concern for the pregnant woman, the unborn child, and the person who wrote the post.

Watch the post to see what conversation comes of it. Then share the post and engage others in conversation!

This is just one example of JFA’s attempt to tackle one of the most important challenges facing pro-life advocates this year: getting thousands of conversations started in everyday-life situations. Please join me in praying for the conversations like this one that we’re creating and for insight into the best ways to train participants in our events (see below) to create conversations. We truly need God’s help to engage massive numbers of people in meaningful conversations that can help them change their minds about unborn children.

Love3 Mentions the Woman...What about the Man?

We received a kind note from a supporter recently making a point about our the name of our online workshops, Love3. (Get more information and register now! Workshops begin January 18.) Here’s an excerpt:

What a beautiful theme: to actively love the mother, child, and conversation partner. Perhaps father, known or unknown, should be included in that circle, as well. Changing the hearts of women’s partners could have a huge effect on whether or not a woman experiences an unplanned pregnancy in the first place; and whether she experiences it alone and desperate, or supported, cared for and in partnership.

Perhaps in the future JFA can put together a team, especially of men, to mentor to our young men on campus as to how they can honor women by not engaging in pre-marital sex, by truly thinking through their sexual actions to the probable conclusion, and by actively shouldering the consequences of their actions with manly honesty, unselfishness, and openness to life.

Here’s my reply:

I wholeheartedly agree that men should receive more focus, especially in the ways you have stated in your email. I appreciate the idea of developing a team of men for special focus on helping men develop "manly honesty, unselfishness and openness to life," as you have said. We'll keep this idea in mind as we continue to seek better ways to reach people. You have rightly pointed out how instrumental men are in the process and how important it is that we not forget them.

Let me explain a bit more about the reasons behind the focus on the woman in Love3. Before I do, though, I admit that no name is perfect, and our team is taking new ideas and changes into consideration. When I talk about the Love3 idea in presentations, I talk about loving "anyone dealing with unintended pregnancy and abortion directly," which includes men. So, that was really the intention of this Love3 idea all along.

In trying to find a way to simply communicate what we're talking about in promoting these workshops, however, I found it necessary to simplify this idea down to a focus on the woman. In conversations, there is a reason to give special focus to the woman, after all: she is affected bodily by the child's presence and she can by law get an abortion without the father's knowledge or approval. In addition, when people interact with us, they are many times very keyed in on how we treat the woman who's pregnant during the conversation. While I agree wholeheartedly that men are both affected by and affect greatly the situation of unintended pregnancy, the average pro-choice advocate is not particularly concerned about the man.

So, while I agree that in a conversation we should also have in mind actively loving the man who is directly involved in unintended pregnancy, this does not provide as clear a guide to pro-life advocates aiming to create the sort of conversation that will intrigue pro-choice advocates and cause them to change their mind about abortion. To be sure, bringing up the man and his role at various points is important for helping people develop an accurate view of sexuality, pregnancy, honor, and integrity. But focusing on the man is not as important as caring for the pregnant woman as we seek to help people be open to changing their minds about abortion.

Remember that the moniker Love3 is meant to be a guide for how to proceed in the midst of a conversation in which we're aiming to change someone's mind. That's why we focus in our promotion of Love3 on loving the woman, the child, and the person with whom we're speaking. It's absolutely essential in most conversations with pro-choice advocates to keep each of these three groups of people in our field of vision as we seek to persuade.

Great Interruptions

On the afternoon of Christmas day in 2019, our family of seven seemed a bit aimless, so we decided to pile into our mini-van and go surprise our friends with a bit of caroling.

In an era of text message arrangements, caroling is perhaps the last acceptable vestige of an important form of social interruption: dropping by. We were a bit hesitant, but we were reasonably sure that our caroling would be seen as a welcome diversion. We could simply sing a few songs on the porch and leave, after all. As it happened, our friends happily folded us into their Christmas day plans. They invited us in. The adults talked, and the kids played.

As we move through the Christmas season and into 2021, we need to make this sort of interrupting a habit, and not just when we’re caroling. The result might indeed be as positive as we experienced last Christmas, but it also might be awkward. We might inconvenience. Still, it’s important. COVID-19 may mean “dropping by” takes on different forms, but interrupting in some way is perhaps even more important given the current isolation most people are feeling.

Great interruptions are sometimes necessary to demonstrate great love.

Remember the four friends who let down their paralytic friend through the roof, interrupting Jesus right in the middle of teaching a crowd? This was a great interruption. Jesus took it in stride and, the Scripture says, “seeing their faith” he claimed to forgive the man’s sins. Then he proved that he had authority to forgive those sins by healing the man. He responded to the great love shown by the four friends by showing the great love of God in healing the man spiritually and physically. (See Mark 2:1-12 and Luke 5:17-26.)

The Son of God’s response to this great interruption highlighted an even greater interruption that he was carrying out: he had interrupted history by taking on human flesh so that he could completely interrupt the works of darkness, overturn the corruption of sin, and draw human beings into the life for which God created them. This is the great interruption we welcome as we celebrate Christmas.

Great interruptions are sometimes necessary to demonstrate great love.

As we reflect on these “great interruptions” (great in both senses), let’s consider our love for people, for God, for the truth, for those in danger (such as unborn children), and for those in distress (such as women confronting unintended pregnancy). Demonstrating love for each of these is worth interrupting the daily course of events. I encourage you to interrupt people’s lives with phone calls and visits, and even (if all else fails) text messages or social media.

Here’s one practical way you can interrupt: invite friends to our Love3 Online Workshops beginning January 18, 2021 (www.jfaweb.org/love3). Because the name Love3 refers to loving the woman in distress, the unborn child, and the person who disagrees with us, just the invitation can lead to a conversation about each of the things I’ve mentioned above.

Why Love3? Because God loves each of those people.

Why Love3? Because women and children and pro-choice advocates are intrinsically valuable image-bearers of God.

Why attend Love3 workshops? Because each of us needs to develop the skill of artfully navigating difficult conversations. Ultimately, we interrupt so that the love of God can cause a “great interruption” in the lives of every human being.

Help JFA Create “Great Interruptions” in 2021

Thank you for your faithful support of Justice For All. There’s still time to give an end-of-year gift. Go to www.jfaweb.org/donate to give an online gift (credit card or electronic check) or postmark your gift by December 31, 2020.