Justice For All
A Conversation, a Seed Planted, and a Life Saved
A Conversation, a Seed Planted, and a Life Saved
Kaitlyn Donihue
Bridge to Healing
Bridge to Healing
Kristine Hunerwadel
"Cast Down Your Cares"
"Cast Down Your Cares"
Steve Wagner
They Stop and Think (Then We Pray)
They Stop and Think (Then We Pray)
Kaitlyn Donihue
Connecting the Dots
Connecting the Dots

Loving Pro-Choice People

Recently, I was scrolling through the comments on a pro-life Instagram post, and one comment caught my eye:

Commenter: Yes. Preach. Don’t let immoral, irresponsible, angry pro-choicers tell you otherwise. All they can do is get triggered and attack you.

Me: I have met pro-life people who are all those things and pro-choice people who are none of them. It doesn’t help this important discussion to stereotype either group. Let’s reach out in love to those who disagree rather than making assumptions about them.

Commenter: Never met one tolerant pro-choicer on Instagram. NEVER. Just go to pro-life pages and see pro-choicers’ comments.

Rebecca Hotovy (left, sitting) talks to a KU student at JFA’s University of Kansas outreach in March 2018.

This commenter illustrates a mindset we can all fall into from time to time. It’s the “us versus them” mindset, the mindset that all pro-choice people act that way and believe those things. This mindset destroys our ability to have an openhearted dialogue with pro-choice people.

Are all pro-choice people angry? Are all pro-choice people immoral? Are all pro-choice people irresponsible?

No.

Every pro-choice person is an individual with a unique story. Many people are pro-choice out of a deep sense of compassion for women. Others are pro-choice because they have been hurt. Still others are simply misinformed. Lumping all of these individuals together and assuming that they are all angry, immoral, and irresponsible only destroys our ability to reach out to them.

We get angry with the pro-choice movement for the dehumanization of unborn children. But often we are guilty of the same dehumanization directed not at unborn children but at pro-choice people. We may not use derogatory terms such as “parasite” to refer to the unborn, but we use derogatory terms to refer to pro-choice people.

“We get angry with the pro-choice movement for the dehumanization of unborn children. But often we are guilty of the same dehumanization directed not at unborn children but at pro-choice people.”

Former JFA staff member Cheryl Kaye Davis (right) talks to a UCLA student at a JFA outreach event in May 2016.

If we ever hope to see a change, if we ever hope to bring an end to abortion, we are going to have to reach out to pro-choice people, and that starts with seeing them as real, valuable, individual human beings.

That is why at Justice For All we so often talk about the Three Essential Skills. We believe that by listening to understand, asking questions with an open heart, and finding common ground when possible, we can have open, friendly dialogue with pro-choice people. It is this kind of dialogue that has the potential to change hearts and save lives. This is the kind of dialogue we have had on college campuses all over the country and are now having on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms. (We’re still hoping we can return to college campuses this fall to engage students in dialogue in person. Please pray with me for this!)

I pray that you will join us in being an advocate of the gospel and of the value of every human life.

How Christian Kids Become Pro-Choice

This Free Speech Board comment, seen at a JFA university outreach event, represents an all-too common position I hear from Christian students.

Every time I do outreach with JFA I have a conversation that reminds me exactly why the work we do is so important, why I left my previous career to do this work. At the University of Texas at Dallas (UT Dallas) that conversation was with a young woman named “Miriam.”

At outreach we meet a lot of pro-choice people who are atheists or agnostics, but we also meet a lot of pro-choice people who profess to be Christians. How does somebody who has been raised in the church her whole life become pro-choice?

Miriam is a perfect example of this phenomenon. I will quote her initial response to me at length. It is a fascinating look into how people who profess to be committed Christians (in this case a “proud Catholic”) justify their support for legal abortion:

I’ve been pro-life most of my life. But I do think it should still be legal, though. I’m a proud Catholic. And as a Catholic, most of us are pro-life.

I don’t know. God gave us free will. And he told us to make our own choices and choose what we believe is right, and in the end we will get our reward. Everything will be justified in the end.

I don’t believe that I should put my religious beliefs on the entire United States. If somebody who’s not Catholic wants to get an abortion, I’m not going to judge them. If somebody who is Catholic wants to get an abortion, I’m not going to judge them. It’s not my job.

I understand it’s sad. I don’t want babies to die. I do personally believe it is murder. Especially after a few months. I think maybe a time limit would be nice. Especially after a good amount of months, you shouldn’t kill that kid. I think it’s just not our decision to make for everyone.

Our March outreach at UT Dallas where I met Miriam

I was very saddened by her response. She knew that abortion was “killing a kid” and didn’t want babies to die, yet she believed in keeping it legal to do just that.

Miriam considered herself pro-life because she personally was against abortion. Yet her position is almost identical to any pro-choice student that I meet who thinks that abortion should be legal for all reasons in the first two trimesters. This seemed to be a comfortable position for her. On the one hand, she could call herself pro-life and think she was in line with her church. On the other, most of her friends are pro-choice, and she could tell them she agrees with them about abortion.

She mentioned that her parents were pro-life without exceptions. I wanted to understand more about why she changed the position with which she had been raised, so I asked her about it. She responded:

I had my own mind after a while. I saw what my parents believed, and for a while I believed that. I see in some cases my parents were right. But eventually at some point in my life I [saw] some cases where abortion is justified. It is sad, but it would be worse for the kid if it was born. It’s hard to balance whose life weighs more, the mother or the child. It’s a judgement call, and it’s not my decision.

There it was again, the phrase “not my decision,” which echoed her previous comments about “make our own choices,” and, “I don’t believe that I should put my religious views on the entire United States.” She had uncritically accepted our culture’s message: choice trumps a child’s right to life.

Equipping Christian students, like those in the seminar shown above, is one of our main priorities at JFA.

This conversation was evidence to me of the vital role our churches and families play in developing the pro-life advocates of the next generation, and of the fact that they are often under-equipped for the task. That’s why Justice For All’s training is so important. If she had heard strong justifications for the pro-life view, she would have been much more likely to reject the views that her culture and her peers were pushing on her. If her parents knew how to have difficult conversations with her about this topic, she would probably still oppose abortion today. But those conversations are hard, especially when dealing with issues such as abortion in the case of rape, and many, if not most, parents are not equipped to have those types of conversations confidently. Teaching those skills is exactly what Justice For All is about.

“If her parents knew how to have difficult conversations with her about this topic, she would probably still oppose abortion today. But those conversations are hard...and many, if not most, parents are not equipped to have those types of conversations confidently. ”

During our conversation, I was stunned by the number of pro-choice talking points she had absorbed and regurgitated to me. Where did Miriam’s justifications for abortion come from?

I went to Catholic schools my whole life, and most of my friends there were pro-choice, which is surprising because you’d think in Catholic school it would be pro-life, but that’s not the case where I grew up. Pro-choice makes more sense for the youth than for those who are older. I guess wisdom comes with age and stuff. Maybe it’s our youth mentality about how we think we know more than those who are older.

I was very surprised that she still considered herself pro-life, even though almost everything she was saying was no different than what I would usually hear from atheistic pro-choice students. I asked her to try to make sense of that for me.

There is a gray area between the two. You can be pro-life with a little pro-choice in you. Pro-choice has their moments where they make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever go over totally to the pro-choice side because I believe in the right to life, and I believe everything the Catholic Church says on the subject.

I support pro-life one billion percent, and kind of like one percent I see some pro-choice arguments that have points where they make sense.

Again, I was a bit shocked to hear that someone who spouted to me dozens of pro-choice arguments also said she is “one billion percent” pro-life. How is that possible? Had she learned why her church believes abortion is wrong? Had her parents taught her how to respond to the reasons her friends were pro-choice? Almost everything she had heard on the subject seemed to have come from our pro-choice culture or her pro-choice friends.

JFA Outreach at the University of Texas at San Antonio (UTSA) in February 2020

After listening to her share her view, I presented a case for the equality of the unborn. I then asked, “Since the unborn are also human, shouldn’t they deserve an equal right to life to you and me?” She avoided the question, and she jumped once again into a common pro-choice talking point. This pattern continued throughout our conversation. It seemed clear to me that she had never considered the points I was making, and she had no responses other than repeating what she had heard from her friends.

This was discouraging, but I am hopeful that I “put a pebble in her shoe,” as Greg Koukl of Stand to Reason says. People often don’t change their minds on the spot, but my modest goal in my conversation was that something would stick, just like a pebble in her shoe.

We need to reach kids everywhere, especially kids who claim to follow Christ, before they are convinced by the culture and their peers that even if abortion is “killing a kid,” the law should let people make their own choices about it.

My conversation with Miriam confirmed for me that our culture is talking to our kids about abortion. The question is, are we? Are our Christian youth being told the reasons that the unborn should have a right to life? Are they being told how to respond to the pro-choice arguments that their friends are making?

“... our culture is talking to our kids about abortion. The question is, are we? ”

That’s exactly what Justice For All’s mission encompasses. We train Christians to defend their pro-life convictions winsomely in a culture that is hostile to it. We help them understand how this is one issue where the comfortable position of being only personally pro-life is not enough. We teach them that injustice against some of the most vulnerable members of our society is not something about which we can be indifferent. And finally, we train their parents to have these conversations with their kids, so their children develop the critical thinking to help them hold strong even when the culture pushes back.

Where will parents and kids learn this? They are most likely to learn it through their church or a program at their Christian school. The pro-choice culture does not need to communicate its message to our kids — the media and their peers will do the job for them. But as Miriam proves, we don’t have the luxury of inaction. And I am so happy that God allows me to reach so many Christian parents and kids every year through Justice For All’s work.

It’s up to churches, Christian schools, and parents not to hope that our underlying beliefs magically transfer to our kids. Rather we have to spend time focused on the topic. We need to craft a whole-person response that includes the heart and the mind. That is precisely what Justice For All trains leaders to do.

A Breakthrough at the Water Pump

Dear Friend of JFA,

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Recently my family invited me to watch a more recent version of a movie I saw in grade school (The Miracle Worker, Disney, 2000). The movie tells the story of Helen Keller, a blind and deaf seven-year-old, and her teacher, Anne Sullivan. In contrast to many in Helen’s life who saw her as a hopeless cause, Anne tenaciously labored to draw out Helen’s incredible intelligence and potential.

Imagine the challenge of teaching language to someone who is blind and deaf! Anne felt at many points like she was getting nowhere. Over and over she would spell with sign language into the palm of Helen’s hand, and over and over it seemed that even though Helen imitated beautifully, she did not comprehend the meaning of the hand signs. Then one day Anne and Helen experienced a breakthrough at the water pump. In The Story of My Life, Helen described it:

Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten — a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that “w-a-t-e-r” meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. That living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, joy, set it free!

We create conversations about abortion, longing for every person to experience this same moment of comprehension. While many have dismissed pro-choice advocates both within and outside our church communities as a hopeless cause, we train pro-life advocates to labor with each person, not discouraged when one approach doesn’t work. Some have called Helen’s experience a miracle. That’s apt. In the same way, while we labor with the best dialogue tools we have, we also rely on God to work a miracle in each person’s worldview. Thank you for partnering with us to help the blind and the teacher of the blind alike, that many may “come to see” the inherent value of every human being.

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

Free Online Learning from Anywhere!

“7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Options

9/22-11/3: Tuesdays, 10-11 AM Central
9/22-11/3: Tuesdays, 7-8 PM Central
9/24-11/5: Thursdays, 10-11 AM Central
9/24-11/5: Thursdays, 8-9 PM Central

More Options: www.jfaweb.org/calendar
Share with Friends: www.jfaweb.org/7
Register Now: www.jfaweb.org/register


Change Hearts and Save Lives!

Encouragement for Conversations

Join JFA dialogue mentors for an informal, no-pressure time of discussion and prayer, all dedicated to finding new ways to engage people in conversations in everyday life. See the JFA Calendar for new dates and times.

Lesson Plan for Kindergarten to Grade 4

Download “The Baby’s Heart Beats Like Mine” at www.jfaweb.org/kids for free!

Stephanie Gray: Featured Resources and Conversation Starters

Stephanie Gray in conversation at a JFA outreach event at Purdue University in 2017

Over the years, JFA has highlighted several resources and conversation starters featuring our friend, Stephanie Gray. Click the link above to explore and share those posts.

Stephanie Gray is an acclaimed international pro-life speaker. In 2017 she was a presenter for “Talks at Google” speaking on abortion, and in 2019 she took part in the La Ciudad de las Ideas debate about abortion in Mexico (highlights from both events appear in our featured posts, linked above). Stephanie is also the author of Love Unleashes Life. You can learn more about Stephanie’s work at www.loveunleasheslife.com.

Responding to "I can't tell other's what to do."

In “Two Buckets,” Tammy Cook shares one concept that helps people who are reluctant to say abortion should not be legal because “I can’t tell others what to do.”  Through the conversation, which Tammy shares in vivid detail, she also models a number of other important conversational tools.

Nail Party Evangelism

Impact Report, July 2020

A Note From JFA’s Executive Director:  Over the past few months, our team has been exploring the value of using social media for conversations about abortion. We’ve gathered regularly to share stories, to pray, and to evaluate different ideas for starting conversations. When Kaitlyn shared the story featured in this Impact Report, we were all spellbound. While we all long to return to face-to-face conversations at outreach, it appears that there are ways in which social media can open doors for conversation not likely to come about in person.  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

One of JFA’s Instagram posts, above, drew the comment below and led to a conversation. Follow JFA (@picturejusticeforall) to help us start more conversations.

One of JFA’s Instagram posts, above, drew the comment below and led to a conversation. Follow JFA (@picturejusticeforall) to help us start more conversations.

From the very beginning, JFA has stretched my comfort zone. When COVID-19 forced us to cancel many of our spring outreach events and the leadership team announced that we were going to focus for the time being on using social media to have conversations about abortion, I knew that my comfort zone was going to be stretched yet again. Thankfully, our team has spent time praying together and encouraging each other as we have tackled this difficult project.

I have never used any form of social media. It intimidates me. Nevertheless, I started an Instagram account in the hope that I might be able to use it to start conversations with pro-choice people. I followed a couple of pro-life pages and began reading through the comments on their posts. I was intimidated by the many nasty comments from both pro-life and pro-choice people. I was determined to at least try to have a conversation, though, so I sent a direct message to every pro-choice person I saw regardless of whether their comments were nasty or not.

To my surprise, even the individuals who had left particularly offensive comments were generally open to dialogue when I engaged them in a respectful and friendly way. Within mere hours of starting an Instagram account, I was talking with a pro-choice girl. She shared with me her story and some of the difficult experiences that have shaped her views on this issue and other issues. We talked about the problem of pain, worldviews, and the gospel. Through this and other conversations, I was amazed and excited to discover that it is possible to have meaningful dialogue over Instagram.

I never would have thought that social media could become a platform for dialogue, much less that it might open doors for impact that in-person events never could.

I was having a conversation with another young woman on Instagram. She was very pro-choice. We talked about abortion for awhile and eventually began talking about faith. She shared her belief that the world is a simulation: We are characters in some more powerful being’s video game. We don’t have free will. Our every movement is determined by that other being.

I believe that different religious perspectives are worth discussing for their own sake, but I also believe that our religious perspective often becomes the foundation upon which all of our other beliefs are built. If someone believes that no one has free will, that we are just characters in a video game, it is likely that their pro-choice perspective flows from that belief and thus we must challenge that underlying belief system.

We talked for a while on Instagram direct message about her beliefs. After a while, she asked me what I believed, and I shared with her about my faith in Christ. But there are ways in which discussing these kinds of topics over direct message can be difficult, tedious, and frustrating. One has to type everything out, wait sometimes hours for a response only to be confused by the response, ask a question to clarify, then wait again.

Instagram has a video call option, so I asked her if she would be interested in doing a video call so that we could dive deeper into our discussion of our different worldviews. She said yes, and we picked a time that worked for both of us.

When I called, she answered and said that she had forgotten we were going to talk and that she and her friends were doing their nails. I said that we could definitely wait until a better time, but she insisted that we talk then. I expected a one-on-one conversation but what I got was a group conversation as her friends chimed in with their perspectives.

Background Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

I asked more questions about their worldviews, and they asked questions about mine. I shared about my journey of coming to faith in Christ and some of the evidence for the resurrection of Jesus that I find to be convincing.

We talked for about an hour. When the conversation was over, I felt deeply disappointed. It wasn’t what I had hoped for. I had planned to have a one-on-one conversation. I had planned to dive seriously into our worldviews. Instead, I ended up in a group conversation that was too casual, lighthearted, and chaotic to allow us to focus in a serious way on the important topics I had come to discuss.

As much as I was disappointed by it, I believe that God had a plan. I intended to share the gospel with just one person and ended up sharing it with six different people all at once.

It also amazes me to think that a total stranger with a very different worldview than mine would invite me to “join” a party with her friends, share my perspective, and have a conversation. I didn’t think social media had any potential for impact let alone that it might allow me to accomplish something I couldn’t have done in person. I want to invite you to join us and try to have conversations on social media. You might be surprised by what God does through you.

Get Equipped to Create Conversations!

We’ve recently added new “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” interactive online workshops to our calendar. Get all of the details at www.jfaweb.org/7 and www.jfaweb.org/calendar.

Join Us for “Encouragement for Conversations”

We’ve just launched a brand-new program to support and encourage you as you seek to create conversations on social media and in everyday life. JFA’s experienced dialogue mentors host a video conference call every Thursday at 3 PM Central to allow you and other like-minded pro-life advocates to share stories, pray, and learn new ways to start conversations. Join us once, occasionally, or every week! Go to www.jfaweb.org/register and select “Encouragement for Conversations.”

An Update from The Executive Director

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA volunteers often say that gathering the courage to show up to a JFA outreach event is the hardest part of their JFA training experience. For those who are willing, though, starting that first conversation can be the most important step in learning to dialogue. God seems to enjoy using that willing step of a fearful participant to create beautiful things from their conversations. After COVID-19 changed our outreach plans for the spring, JFA’s trainers were put back in the shoes of new volunteers as they focused on a new, intimidating form of outreach: creating conversations via social media.

Having little social media experience, JFA trainer Kaitlyn Donihue was not looking forward to online dialogue. Indeed, many on our team were disappointed with the prospect of exchanging productive in-person conversations for social media “equivalents” we predicted would be inferior in just about every way. Kaitlyn was willing, though, and like each of our new outreach volunteers, she initiated one conversation at a time and trusted God for the rest.

Recently Kaitlyn shared a story from a social media conversation that amazed our whole team. (Click here to read her story, “Nail Party Evangelism.”) Despite Kaitlyn’s fear and discomfort, God used Kaitlyn’s openness to create something surprising and beautiful. Are you willing to take the same step in hope of experiencing God’s work through you? See below to register for online workshops and our brand new “Encouragement for Conversations” program!

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

Online Learning Opportunities


“7 Conversations in 7 Hours”

7/20-8/31: Mondays, 8-9 PM Central
7/22-9/2: Wednesdays, 10-11 AM Central
Makeups to be scheduled soon!

“Encouragement for Conversations”

Thursdays at 3 PM Central

“Having been in the pro-life movement since 1980, this training is nothing like I’ve ever experienced. At our local [pregnancy] center, we are making it essential for our Client Advocates (in addition to their regular training).”
— Mike Brady, Reflecting on JFA’s “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Online Workshop Series

JFA Offering Free Workshops Online - New Dates Added!

“7 CONVERSATIONS” ONLINE WORKSHOPS

NEW DATES ADDED!

7/20-8/31: Monday Nights, 8-9 PM Central

7/22-9/2: Wednesday Mornings, 10-11 AM Central

“I am not an articulate person and definitely avoid anxiety-producing situations of talking to someone who might disagree with me. But because of the course and the website I now have a resource...to help me to know what to say, and most importantly how to say it.”
— Donna, "7 Conversations in 7 Hours" participant

VIDEO: "Every Person Has a Story" - JFA Outreach Reflection

"Have you ever had the chance to talk to somebody who's been through this experience before?"

"No - I'm the only guy that I know who's ever gotten a girl pregnant and she's had an abortion."

It was a conversation that JFA trainer Rebecca Haschke nearly gave up having altogether. After JFA's 2017 outreach event at Colorado State University, Rebecca shared how this conversation ended up teaching her an important "lesson in love."  

Note:  Special thanks to Genesis Media Solutions for producing this video.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 7"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 7

Respond to Session 7 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 7

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation.

Other Conversation Starters

Contact the webinar admin to request more conversation starters.

In-Depth Resources for Questions Covered in Session 7 (“Extended Q&A”)

Links to Important JFA Resources

Note: This post was originally written on 7/7/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 6"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 6

Respond to Session 6 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

A Suggested Beginning for Your Response

“I agree that women’s bodily rights are important and that they are still being trampled on throughout the world. Domestic violence, rape, slavery. All of these practices are horrific and evil, and I stand with you against these harms against women.

So, for abortion to be made illegal, I agree that it would be a big deal, because we would be telling women there is something they can’t do with their body. We’d be restricting them. I can understand how this topic seems heavy and how the person who wants to restrict abortion seems unconcerned about how this is affecting a woman’s right to her body.

For it to make sense to make abortion illegal, abortion would have to be much more than removing a mass of tissue. If that’s all it was, a simple surgery to remove a mass, I agree women should be able to get that by law.

Let’s say, though, that the case I’ve made that the unborn is a human being with equal rights to the rest of us. Then the woman’s bodily rights matter, but there is another human being with bodily rights, too. So, then a law against abortion may still be unjustified, but it at least is within the range of being possibly a reasonable policy. Can we agree on that?” - Steve Wagner


 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 6

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Ask if he or she agrees that generally speaking, a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, and point out that this right has been trampled throughout history (and continues to be in the present day). Then ask if abortion is an important component of that right. Throughout the conversation, focus on the empathy we developed in Sessions 5 and 6 (meeting the “Relational Challenge”) as you dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share the It’s Her Body Article

Ask a friend to read the first installment of Steve Wagner’s “It’s Her Body” series. Use what you learned in Session 6 to create a productive conversation with your friend.

Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

We shared this conversation idea in Session 5, but it also can help you start with common ground in conversations about a woman’s right to her body. Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

Option 4: Share the ERI Video

Share the video below to start a conversation. We suggest prefacing the video with a warning about its graphic descriptions of abortion as well as a discussion of the content of the “It’s Her Body” series linked above.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 6 (“Do Bodily Rights Mean Abortion Is Okay?”)

Note: This post was originally written on 7/1/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020. The “Suggested Beginning to Your Response” section was added on 8/26/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.

“I had never spoken to my friend about abortion…”

Dear Friend of JFA,

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added …

JFA Training Specialist Kaitlyn Donihue is shown during a “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” Zoom workshop, teaching participants from all over the country to make a clear case for the equality of the unborn. See the end of this blog post for newly-added workshop dates - Register here.

More than 70 people have participated in our “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” workshops since we began offering them six weeks ago. (New dates have been added. See below!)

At the conclusion of each hour-long Zoom session, we challenge participants to start a conversation using what they’ve learned during that hour. Elizabeth, a participant from Florida, wrote to us after Session Four:

I had never spoken to my friend, T, about abortion, so when I asked her stance she immediately went into her personal story. As a pregnant 16 year old she’d had an initial consultation and scheduled [an] appointment for a saline abortion at 6 months pregnant. She said everyone assumed that’s what she should do and in response to their reactions, she [scheduled the appointment] but had not yet told her mother. The baby’s father came to her house one day saying his sister wanted to speak with her. They spoke on the phone and the sister told her not to abort the baby, that it was a “living baby” and not to worry, that things would work out and offered her help such as babysitting and a place to live.

The panel shown above, part of JFA’s “Stop and Think” exhibit, features a fetus at 18 weeks old (from fertilization). This is the age of the unborn around the beginning of the 6 month of pregnancy (the same stage of pregnancy when Elizabeth’s friend, T, had first scheduled an abortion appointment).

T told me then “that was the first time it had ever occurred to me that it was a baby. His sister talked about it in a way that showed she cared.” The sister also urged her that if she had an abortion it would be a big regret. She decided then and there against the abortion and had the courage to tell her mom that she was pregnant. Her mother was upset about the pregnancy and even more about her unwillingness to abort but after some time she came around to the idea and gladly helped prepare for the baby’s arrival. That baby is now 30 years old and a successful, independent young man.

So, following that story I asked about her general views on abortion. She stated she’s firmly pro-life. I went through the science of the unborn, establishing the biological citizenship of the growing baby to the human family. She agreed with the various statements as I laid out those points as well as the points of the baby having equal rights. When asked if there was any situation in which she would believe an abortion is warranted, she stated the rape exception.

Since we have yet to cover that topic, I found common ground in agreeing that it would be a horrible situation for the mother and she deserves care and justice. I also went back to the previous points asking if the baby conceived in rape is any less human or any less deserving of equal human rights. She acquiesced that indeed, it is not any less.

Notice how Elizabeth was able to help T even though T’s specific concern about rape was not to be covered until the next week of the online workshop series. Elizabeth used the skills she had learned already to help T think through the case of rape. (Indeed, because T is Elizabeth’s friend, Elizabeth can also go back to her to discuss some of what we covered in Session Five.)

Elizabeth’s friend T needed help when she became pregnant, and even though some in the family disagreed, T’s boyfriend’s sister spoke up. She offered reasons to think the unborn was a human being, and she offered practical help. This illustrates why we are emphasizing with each of the participants in our online workshops the importance of creating conversations.

Note also, though, how even in her passion for unborn children, T hadn’t yet connected the dots for unborn children produced through rape. Once Elizabeth was willing to do the uncomfortable work of creating a conversation with T, it became clear quickly that they had only a small disagreement, and Elizabeth was able to help T think more clearly. Reading Elizabeth’s account, I’m struck by how the conversation seems so natural, even as the friends discussed their disagreements. Let’s pray for Elizabeth as she continues the conversation with T, and let’s pray that T will have opportunities to speak to others. Perhaps T will even join us for our next “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series, beginning on July 20! You can, too, and you can invite a friend!

Thank you for partnering with us to train more advocates to create a different kind of conversation, one that ministers to hearts and changes minds.

- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

“I am not an articulate person and definitely avoid anxiety-producing situations of talking to someone who might disagree with me. But because of the course and the website I now have a resource...to help me to know what to say, and most importantly how to say it.
”
— Donna, Online Workshop Participant

Notes for "7 Conversations in 7 Hours - Session 5"

Comment Or Ask Questions on Session 5

Respond to Session 5 and Sign Up for JFA Updates via Email and/or Paper Mail using the JFA Updates page. Or, feel free to share a comment on this post below.

 

Next Step: Conversation Starter for Session 5

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Option 1: Continue Your Conversation from Session 1 (and Following Sessions)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Mention that one of the most common topics that comes up in relation to the topics of unintended pregnancy and abortion is the topic of rape. Ask what your friend thinks about abortion in this case late in pregnancy…and early in pregnancy. Use what you learned in Session 5 to dialogue with your friend.

Option 2: Share Pages 2-3 from the JFA Brochure

IMG_9954.jpg

Use the digital brochure or send this image. Ask, “which circumstances concern you most.” Usually, rape is one of the most common circumstances people raise. Use what you learned in Session 5 to create a productive conversation with your friend.



Option 3: Share Pages 8-9 from the JFA Brochure

Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

 

Links and Additional Reading for Session 5 (“The Question of Rape”)

Note: This post was originally written on 6/19/2020 for our first “7 Conversations in 7 Hours” series. It was updated on 7/29/2020.

Links: See the JFA Calendar to view a series currently in progress or coming up soon. // Register here. // Share the details or invite a friend.