Featured Resource - “A Living Room Conversation - Part 3”

Prepare for Conversations (June):

In the last two months, we’ve encouraged you to read Parts 1 and 2 of “A Living Room Conversation,” by JFA trainer Grace Fontenot.  This month, you can finish the story by reading Part 3, in which Grace discusses the topic of feminism with “Heidi,” a young woman she met, not during an outreach event, but in an everyday-life setting.  Do you know someone, like Heidi, who wants to be pro-life, but is fearful of coming across as “anti-woman”?  Through this story, you’ll learn one of the most powerful arguments we’ve found for helping pro-choice advocates rethink their position.  It will prepare you to explain how the pro-life view is the most consistent position on abortion for those who care about women’s rights and human equality.

Conversation Starter - “Can She Embrace Both?”

Featured Conversation Starter (June):

Use the recent JFA blog post, “Can She Embrace Both?” to start a conversation with a friend on social media.  The post features a panel from JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit which suggests that “embracing child and career” is “better than abortion.”  The image on the panel, though, is a painting which appears to be only loosely related to the title...until one looks a little closer.  The post also features free speech board comments about the panel and asks the viewer to add his or her own comments to begin a conversation.  The post ends with the question, “How can we help an underprivileged woman to embrace both her unborn child and her career?”

Can She Embrace Both?

Panel from JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit (Image: Madame Vigée-Le Brun et Sa Fille, by Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun, France, 1786; More information: Art of Life web page)

One of my favorite panels from our Art of Life Exhibit juxtaposes a classical painting of a woman holding her daughter with the words “Embracing child and career” and “better than abortion.”

At the University of Oklahoma in 2016, though, one free speech board (see image nearby) showed that this panel made no sense to some viewers.  They pointed out, confidently, that sitting for a portrait isn’t a career, and a woman in 1786 couldn’t possibly have had a career anyway.

Comments on a JFA Free Speech Board (2016): “In 1786 this woman did NOT have a child and a CAREER!” and, [sarcastically], “Sitting for portraits is a career?”

Had these students looked with just a bit more curiosity at the panel in question (image nearby), they would have found etched just next to the date of the painting in the bottom right-hand corner the only clues they needed in order to discover the point of the panel — the title of the painting and the name of the painter: Madame Vigée-Le Brun et Sa Fille [by] Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun.

This translates to Mrs. Vigée-Le Brun and Her Daughter [by] Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun

Yes, indeed, there is little sense in displaying this lesser-known painting from the 18th century to illustrate the idea that a woman can embrace her child and her career, unless, of course, the woman pictured in the painting is...the painter...and the painting is her self-portrait!  A quick look at the website found on the panel (www.debate2dialogue.org) reveals that Vigée Le Brun was Marie Antoinette’s chief portrait painter.  Yes, at least one woman had a “bona fide career” in 1786!

I don’t recall talking to the students who wrote these comments.  When I came across the photos of the free speech board later, the fact that these students missed the point of the sign made me angry, and for a moment, I wanted to mock them and point out how foolish they were.  But then I caught myself.  Isn’t sadness a more appropriate response?  These dear people are missing out on a beautiful moment of realization, after all. 

When people outright reject or miss the point of our outreach events, our good-faith attempts to dialogue with them, the beautiful wonder of life in the womb, the truth about human rights, or any other gift we offer, it makes me sad — sad, first, that they missed the gift, and second, that I, in my weaknesses, have sometimes made it harder for them to receive it.

So, let me reach out to you in that same spirit, seeking to understand your perspective and working together to find truth.  What do you think about the message of this panel?  Do you think that a woman who is experiencing unintended pregnancy can embrace both her child and her career?

It's certainly true that Vigée-Le Brun had prestige and an income that many of the underprivileged women seeking abortions do not have today.  Let's use this painting only as a starting point then (not as a perfectly parallel situation).  Let's assume that we're talking about the typical woman facing unintended pregnancy today, and let's assume she is in a very difficult situation with little money and little hope: Does she have to choose between two goods she cares about, her child and her career?  How can we help an underprivileged woman embrace both her unborn child and her career? 

What do you think?

 

(Note: Portions of this post were originally published in the letter, "Clueless in the Face of a Great Gift" in December 2016.)

Pray with JFA - May 2018

Pray for Recent/ Upcoming Events (Partial List): 

Four simultaneous conversations are shown taking place during JFA's outreach event at Colorado State University (CSU) in April 2018.

Pray for wisdom for the team members who plan JFA’s outreach event schedule.  Pray for the health of our trainers that they might keep active in the field.  Pray for each person we train and each person with whom we converse at outreach, that God will kindle new affection in their hearts for women in distress and for the smallest humans on earth. 

  • April 16-17 (Fort Collins, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — Colorado State University
  • April 20 (Boulder, CO):  Interactive Workshop — University of Colorado Boulder
  • April 21 (Englewood, CO):  Interactive Seminar — All Souls Catholic Church
  • April 23 (Lakewood, CO):  Interactive Workshop — Colorado Christian University
  • April 23-24 (Denver, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — Metropolitan State University
  • April 24 (Boulder, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — University of Colorado Boulder
  • April 27 (Wichita, KS):  Classroom Presentations — Bishop Carroll Catholic High School
  • May 19 (Tempe, AZ):  Interactive Workshop — Tempe Public Library
  • June 1 (Wichita, KS):  Interactive Workshop — Private Residence
  • June 6 (La Mirada, CA):  Presentation — Redeemer Church
  • June 7 (Wichita, KS):  Interactive Workshop — Closed Event

Featured Resource - “A Living Room Conversation - Part 2”

Prepare for Conversations (May):

Last month, we encouraged you to read Part 1 of “A Living Room Conversation,” by JFA trainer Grace Fontenot.  In this three-part story, Grace shares her conversation with “Heidi,” a young woman she met, not during an outreach event, but in an everyday-life setting.  This month, we encourage you to read Part 2 of Grace’s story, in which Grace helps Heidi think through the biological evidence that the unborn is a living, human organism from the point of fertilization.  As you read Part 2, you’ll learn several simple questions relating to biology that you can ask in your conversations about the unborn and abortion, and you’ll gain resources for further study.

Conversation Starter - “What _s M_ss_ng?”

Featured Conversation Starter (May):

Use the recent JFA blog post, “What _s M_ss_ng?” to start a conversation in a natural way this month.  The post shows a JFA kiosk sign, presenting a quotation from an article by author and newspaper editor Verlyn Klinkenborg in a mysterious way that invites the viewer to think more deeply about unintended pregnancy and the unborn.  You can use the post to ask a friend, family member, or co-worker, “What do you think is missing after an abortion?” and, “Is the unborn something very similar to you and me, or is the unborn something very different?”

Worth the Interruption

Spencer Stewart, a high school teacher and long-time JFA volunteer, is passionate about the training opportunities that JFA provides to Christian communities like his school (Veritas Christian School in Lawrence, Kansas).  In recent years, Spencer has invested personal time and effort in equipping his students for dialogue during class time.  In March, after teaching students using JFA materials, he brought twenty students to our University of Kansas outreach event to watch JFA mentors in conversation and to give the students an opportunity to join in.  In this Impact Report, Spencer and several of his students share about their experiences.  (Student quotations have been edited for length.)  We are always eager to come alongside teachers like Spencer who have a heart for discipleship, providing the tools and experiences they can use to help their students “speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves” (Prov. 31:8, NIV).  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director


Spencer Stewart talks with a University of Kansas (KU) student at a JFA outreach event in April 2015.

I have attended about a dozen Abortion: From Debate to Dialogue seminars by Justice For All, often in order to bring new volunteers, as well as multiple outreaches on different college campuses.  For two years now, it has been my privilege to teach JFA’s material to juniors and seniors in my Worldview and Apologetics classes over the course of the week leading up to a campus outreach.  They have eagerly engaged with the training.  I love that the Three Essential Skills (asking clarifying questions, listening to understand, and building common ground without compromise) prepare them to be better humans and better conversation partners on any topic.

All of my students know that they should be pro-life, but I love to see lightbulbs switch on as they learn more precisely why – and how to help others see it for themselves.  At the outreach, we pair students with an apologist with Justice For All so they can listen in on and pray through the conversations taking place.  Having received the training in class, they are able to track with the JFA apologist and better learn the nuances of these kinds of dialogues.  Some of our students even jump in and engage in conversations of their own.  All of the students have been enthusiastic about the experience.  It opens their eyes to the diversity of thinking on campus, and they all benefit from JFA staff members modeling both kindness and conviction in the midst of a controversial issue.  The juniors always want to do it again the following year. The hope is that the second time around will help them internalize the approach and increase their confidence to lead this kind of conversation.

Spencer (left) talks with a University of Kansas (KU) student at a JFA outreach event in April 2016. Students whom he brought to that outreach event listen in.

It obviously interrupts the flow and takes a chunk of time away from our regular content, but I believe it is worth it, without a doubt.  In terms of scope and severity, I consider abortion to be the greatest injustice on the planet, and God’s people are called to partner with Him in seeking justice, especially for the weakest and most vulnerable among us.  With this issue, I believe partnering with Justice For All is the best way to do that, especially because they also work to connect students who are considering abortion (or who need healing from one) with local pregnancy care centers.  We are wired to be heroes, and we can literally save lives at these outreaches, and in our daily walk, once we have been prepared in this way.  I pray that more and more churches and schools will open themselves up to be blessed by JFA and equipped for life on mission.

- Spencer Stewart, Veritas Christian School Teacher

Spencer (right) listens to a conversation at one of the first JFA outreach events in which he participated, at Wichita State University in January 2012. 

[The JFA in-class preparation] taught me how to communicate an important point with someone in a non-threatening way, and it made me really think about my reasons for being pro-life.

- Marianna, Veritas Christian School Student

Spencer (right) and his students listen as Rebecca Hotovy describes JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit at the recent University of Kansas outreach event in March 2018.

The JFA outreach was beneficial to me because I have never gotten the chance to talk to a stranger about my beliefs and ask about theirs.  It was great to [hear] someone else’s belief, and for them to hear mine.  Using the finding common ground technique worked great because they felt differently about the message we were sending after we talked.

- Rondre, Veritas Christian School Student

The JFA [in-class preparation] showed me how to better listen and not just attack a person based on their opinion.  It helped my confidence when speaking to non-believers about scriptural things.  The JFA outreach was super cool to be a part of because we were doing the work of God.  Watching older, wiser people listen and have Godly conversations was helpful spiritually.  The JFA outreach showed me just a glimpse of some of the opinions on campus, and the need for God.

- Quinton, Veritas Christian School Student

JFA impacted me by helping me understand the facts about abortion and how to talk to people in a relational way about this topic.  It strengthened my reasoning for what I believe and opened my eyes to other people’s views.

- Leandra, Veritas Christian School Student

The JFA training impacted me by making me feel more prepared to share about abortion with others and get into meaningful conversations.  The techniques they taught us were very helpful and will be useful going into next year.  The JFA outreach was different than what I thought it was going to be, but in a good way.  The exhibit [was] very thought provoking and a good way to get people to ask questions.

- Emma, Veritas Christian School Student

The JFA [in-class preparation] made me think of most debates or disagreements in a different way.  It gave me a different method to approach them.  The JFA outreach was interesting because it showed the actual beliefs of real people, not just hypothetical responses and answers.

- Anonymous, Veritas Christian School Student

Pray with JFA - April 2018

Pray for Recent/Upcoming Events (Partial List): 

Metro State University (MSU) - April 23, 2018

Pray for good weather during our outreach events to facilitate good conversations.  Pray for the health of our trainers that they might keep active in the field.  Pray for each person we train and each person with whom we converse at outreach, that God will kindle new affection in their hearts for women in distress and for the smallest humans on earth. 

  • April 11 (Denton, TX):  Poll Table Outreach Event — University of North Texas
  • April 13 (Fort Collins, CO):  Chapel Presentation & Interactive Workshop — Heritage Christian Academy
  • April 14 (Greeley, CO):  Interactive Seminar — Christ Community Church
  • April 15 (Fort Collins, CO):  Interactive Seminar — Colorado State University
  • April 16-17 (Fort Collins, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — Colorado State University
  • April 20 (Boulder, CO):  Interactive Workshop — University of Colorado Boulder
  • April 21 (Englewood, CO):  Interactive Seminar — All Souls Catholic Church
  • April 23 (Lakewood, CO):  Interactive Workshop — Colorado Christian University
  • April 23-24 (Denver, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — Metropolitan State University
  • April 24 (Boulder, CO):  Kiosk Outreach Event — University of Colorado Boulder 

Featured Resource - "A Living Room Conversation - Part 1"

Prepare for Conversations (April):

In “A Living Room Conversation” Grace Fontenot shares a conversation she had with “Heidi,” a young woman she met, not during an outreach event, but in an everyday-life setting.  In Part 1 of Grace’s three-part story, you’ll see Grace help Heidi think through the social and legal implications that logically follow from what Heidi characterized as her “religious” beliefs about abortion.  In doing so, you’ll learn several questions you can ask in your conversations with family members, co-workers, and friends who say, “I am personally pro-life, but I don’t think I can limit the choices of others through the law.” 

Conversation Starter - "Should We Step In?"

Featured Conversation Starter (April):

Use the recent post, “Should We Step In?” to start a conversation in a natural way this month.  This post features a true story from Exposures, a Voices for the Voiceless project.  The post uses the story as a springboard to ask pro-life advocates, “Do you think abortion should ever be legally available?” and asks pro-choice advocates, “Are there any circumstances in which you would try to stop someone from getting an abortion?”

Should We Step In?

The photo and story above were originally posted by Exposures, "a photojournalism initiative created to share the stories we all have about abortion and its impact on our lives."

Learn More About Exposures: www.exposuresproject.com 
See the Original Exposures Post: www.instagram.com/p/1Wny8tvWrC

What Do You Think?

  • What do you think about trying to change other peoples' opinions about abortion? Do you think it's important, or even ever acceptable? Why or why not?

  • If you consider yourself to be "pro-life," what does that term mean to you? Are there any circumstances in which you would support abortion? Do you think abortion should ever be legally available?

  • If you consider yourself to be "pro-choice," what does that term mean to you? Are there any circumstances in which you would try to stop someone from getting an abortion? Do you think abortion should ever be legally restricted?

You Can't Learn This In a Classroom

Introductory Note:  JFA training is not just theoretical.  JFA volunteers are able to immediately put what they learn into practice.  Once equipped through a JFA seminar, volunteers start their practical training by watching their JFA mentors in conversation, observing how they use JFA dialogue skills with pro-choice advocates.  After that they create their own conversations alongside a JFA mentor who can offer feedback and support.  Volunteers are enthusiastic about this unique, active learning experience, one that can’t be replicated in a classroom.  In this Impact Report, featuring conversation stories from Rebecca Hotovy and Paul Kulas, you'll see how JFA mentors supported outreach volunteers at our recent University of Kansas (KU) outreach, praying for them, modeling good dialogue, and participating with them in their first conversations.  - Steve Wagner, Executive Director


I was mentoring a young woman named Maya, the president of the Jayhawks for Life club that had invited JFA to the University of Kansas (KU).  I had been praying for her throughout the trip because I wanted her to be able to be encouraged by the conversations that she was going to witness while we were mentoring her.  She’s someone who really desires to go out and create conversation. 

Maya (right) talks to a fellow student at JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit outreach at the University of Kansas, an outreach she helped to organize.  See the JFA Photo Archive for more photos from the KU outreach event.

One of the first conversations she witnessed was actually one that she started.  She saw a young man, “Will,” standing next to the Art of Life Exhibit, and when she realized that he was just standing there looking and that no one else on our staff was able to engage him, she walked up to him to ask him what he thought.  When she started to ask him questions, Will revealed that he actually didn’t know yet what his thoughts were about abortion.

She didn’t know where to go from there, so she asked if she could introduce him to someone who could guide him through the pro-life position.  Once she found out that Will was open to a dialogue with someone, she ran and grabbed me, brought me over, and introduced me to him.

Rebecca (left), Maya (hidden, with pink cap), and another volunteer interact with students (not Will) at JFA’s Art of Life Exhibit at KU.

We started a conversation, and Will seemed pretty open to hearing why I believed what I did.  I asked him if I could see if there were areas where we could agree.  First we jumped into the topic of biology.  I told Will that I believed that the unborn is a human being from conception forward, and he said, “You know, I don’t believe that it’s a human being from conception on a biological level.”  I then found out that he was a biology major, so I first asked him, “Since you’re a biology major, would you mind if I would just share with you snippets from my understanding of biology, and then you can break those down, and tell me if you agree or disagree?”  He said, “Okay!”

So I took about two minutes to explain the sperm and the egg coming together.  We also walked through the “construction vs. development” concept.  (See our “Extending Your Learning - Biology” page to learn more about the way in which the unborn is not constructed like a car, but instead develops from within, more like a polaroid photo.)  He said, “You know, there’s nothing there I can disagree with at this point.”

Sean (right) and Benjamin (center) talk to their JFA mentor, Paul Kulas (left), about Benjamin’s first conversation at the KU outreach in March.

Then we walked through the idea that, from fertilization, the unborn is not part of another organism, but is a whole organism with its own functional parts.  I asked Will what his thoughts were on that, and he said, “You know, there’s nothing I can disagree with there either.”  So we came to the end of walking through how we know the unborn is biologically human, and he didn’t have anything to refute.

“Okay, so we agree that the unborn is biologically human,” I said.  “What does that mean with regard to abortion?”  After that, I walked through the Equal Rights Argument, and he seemed to be very responsive to that line of reasoning.  (Learn to defend the equal right to life of the unborn through real-life dialogue examples in our Equal Rights Argument Newsletter Collection.)

We had probably talked for about thirty minutes when Will looked at me and at Maya.  “That is one of the most logical arguments I have heard for the pro-life position,” he said.  “I am really going to have to continue processing this and thinking about this.”

When he walked away, Maya turned to me and said, “That was amazing!”

I was really excited because this seemed to be an answer to my prayers for Maya.  That was one of the first outreach conversations she had witnessed, and it walked through the seminar material in a way that would make it make sense for her.  It wasn’t a conversation about one of the more complicated topics that are sometimes raised at our events, such as “whether or not we know we exist” or “whether or not we can know anything at all.”  It was actually one of the more basic conversations, in which the person with whom we spoke was able to follow pretty simple ideas and logic.

- Rebecca Hotovy, Training Specialist

Three students from a Catholic high school joined the JFA team at KU as mission trip participants from out of state.  These young men were participants at the JFA seminar held just off campus and then came out to volunteer for the first full day of outreach at KU.  After they helped with exhibit setup, our team started to create conversations with KU students.  About an hour or two into the outreach, I noticed that these young men from my group were doing a good job of just observing JFA staff members’ conversations, which is what we had instructed them to do for the first portion of the day.

I was taking pictures, standing off to the side, when a KU student came up to two of the young men, Benjamin and Sean.  They were standing next to the new art table by the Art of Life Exhibit at the time, listening to one of Becca Hotovy’s conversations.  (See pictures of the art table created by JFA trainer Grace Fontenot, and other photos from the recent outreach at KU, in the JFA Photo Archive.)  Right after the KU student came up to talk to them, Benjamin started interacting with him.  The college student seemed to have an agenda, and he had a sort of steamrolling personality in the conversation.  I was within earshot, but not close enough to be in the conversation, so I slowly inched my way closer to listen and be available if I was needed.

The KU student shared that he had grown up in a Christian community in a small, remote town.  A 13-year-old girl in the town had been forced into an intimate, incestuous relationship by an older family member.  He said the girl had ended up getting pregnant as a result, and that the family had shamed this young woman for what had happened even though she was the victim.  The KU student ended up basically saying to the high schoolers, “What would you tell this woman who gets pregnant and wants an abortion?”

It was one of the hardest topics that ever gets brought up, and it was the first conversation in which these students had actively participated.  I didn’t know how Benjamin would handle it, but he did a really good job of showing compassion for the rape victim, balancing the relational and intellectual challenges inherent in responding to the question of rape.  (See “What about Rape?” in JFA's Interactive Guide to learn to meet both challenges and respond in a Christ-like way.)  I thought that with just one seminar under his belt, he actually did very well at staying on the relational side, focusing on the horror of rape and showing genuine sympathy.  He didn’t jump into intellectual argument mode, even though he was a very intellectually adept student.  I did end up joining in the conversation at one point to help out somewhat, but he had done a really good job of focusing on the right approach at the right time. 

- Paul Kulas, Director of Operations

Pray with JFA - March 2018

Pray for Recent/Upcoming Events (Partial List): 

JFA trainer Becca Haschke in dialogue w/Wichita State University students at the March 15th kiosk outreach event at WSU

Pray for good weather during our outreach events to facilitate good conversations. Pray for the health of our trainers that they might keep active in the field. Pray for each person we train and each person with whom we converse at outreach, that God will kindle new affection in their hearts for women in distress and for the smallest humans on earth.

  • Mar. 12-13 (Lawrence, KS): Art of Life Exhibit Outreach — University of Kansas
  • March 15 (Wichita, KS): Kiosk Outreach Event — Wichita State University
  • April 7 (Atchison, KS): Interactive Seminar — Benedictine College
  • April 14 (Greeley, CO): Interactive Seminar — Christ Community Church
  • April 15 (Fort Collins, CO): Interactive Seminar — Colorado State University
  • April 16-17 (Fort Collins, CO): Kiosk Outreach Event — Colorado State University
  • April 20 (Boulder, CO): Interactive Workshop — University of Colorado at Boulder

Conversation Starter - "Human but not human"

Featured Conversation Starter (March):

Use Steve Wagner’s recent blog post, “Human but not human” to start a conversation with a friend about pro-choice statements that are often confusing to pro-life advocates. It’s easy to write off people who say things like, “The unborn is human, but it isn’t human,” but Steve offers practical advice for giving the benefit of the doubt when we hear perplexing statements like this. With a message to pro-choice advocates followed by a message to pro-life advocates, this post will make it easier to discuss a friend’s thoughts on when human life begins biologically and at what point he or she believes a human gains rights and value.

Human but not human

Dear Supporter of Legal Abortion (or, pro-choice advocate, if you prefer): I've talked to thousands of pro-choice people over the past 17 years.  Many have said some version of the following sentence to me that I want to ask you about: "The unborn is human, but it's not human."  Some pro-life advocates smirk and make snarky responses to this, attempting to humiliate the person who said it. 

Adolf von Menzel, "Study for Heinrich von Kleist's Broken Jug," ~ 1877 (Getty Open Content)

I've found, though, that when I ask a follow-up question with an open heart, seeking to understand rather than refute, there is usually a perfectly reasonable explanation of the apparent contradiction in the statement.  It's this: Usually the person is trying to put his or her finger on a meaning that is hard to put into words, that even though the unborn is just as human as a clump of human cells in a petri dish, and maybe even just as human as you and I in the sense of being just as much biologically a human organism as you and I, the unborn is not human in the sense of having intrinsic value or basic human rights. 

My question is this: Have you ever said this ("the unborn is human, but it's not human") or something like it?  If so, am I understanding you correctly?  What reasons would you give for believing the unborn is similar biologically to cells in a petri dish (if that's your view), or for believing the unborn is biologically a living human organism (if that's your view), and what reasons would you give for believing the unborn is not human in the rights/value sense?

Dear Opponent of Legal Abortion (or, pro-life advocate, if you prefer): Read my paragraph above, reaching out to those who identify as "pro-choice."  Have you heard a statement like this before (or, "the unborn is alive, but it's not alive")?  How did you respond?  Did you make a snarky response (out loud or in your head), or did you scratch your head, wide-eyed, trying to understand how this could make sense? 

Can you see that when a person makes a statement to us that seems incoherent on its face, if we take a posture of assuming the person probably has a reasonable explanation (for the apparent contradiction), this can lead to new experiences of understanding and clarity?  Can you see how understanding what the person means is essential to getting to the important step of evaluating together the various ideas each of us has?