Topic/Session Quick Links: 1: Three Essential Skills — 2: Can Images Help? — 3: One Central Question & Biology — 4: Equal Rights Mystery — 5: Question of Rape — 6: Bodily Rights — 7: Q&A — What Next — About Love3 — About ADD — Help JFA

Notes for JFA Interactive Workshops

This page is a companion to JFA’s Interactive Guide, the Love3 Interactive Workshop Series, and the Abortion: From Debate to Dialogue Interactive Seminar. It includes stories of real conversations related to each topic or session, additional conversation starters, links to more online content, and links to shareable social media posts.

Love3 Session 1 - Three Essential Skills - Notes

Stories

More Links and Resources

  • Common Ground Without Compromise by Steve Wagner (free eBook offer) — During Q&A in this session in 2020, I (Steve) answered a question about a conversation I had with a young woman at CU Boulder. To read about that conversation, request the free eBook version of Common Ground Without Compromise. It’s the opening story. Although I asked questions in the conversation, it was clear to this young woman that I wasn’t very interested in her opinion. I was interested in changing her opinions that I knew were incorrect, however, and that led her to say, “If you’re not going to listen to me, I’m just going to leave.” So, asking questions is necessary, but it’s not sufficient. Listening to understand rather than to refute can help create an environment in which the person wants the conversation to continue and wants to think carefully about the different ideas being presented.

NEXT STEP: Start a CONVERSATION

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Prompt 1 (After Session 1): TALK TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW WELL VIA PHONE OR VIDEO CHAT OR IN PERSON*:

LOVE3-3-leaves-art-of-changing-minds.jpg

  • Consider three people you know who are either pro-choice or whose views on abortion you don’t know. Which one will be the most approachable or easiest for you to talk to about abortion? Your goal is to start the conversation with that person in a natural, non-awkward way. We suggest using a direct approach which is up front about how you are purposefully trying to learn something, and you need the person’s help:

    • “I’m troubled by the fact that good conversations about abortion are rare. It seems to only be hurtful to people. I’ve been working recently on learning to discuss abortion productively. Would you be willing to sit and chat with me for 15 minutes or more and help me out? My commitment to you would be that I will ask questions with an open heart, listen to understand, and find common ground when possible.”

    • Please adjust the wording to fit your personality! Once you’ve had a conversation with the person who’s most approachable for you, challenge yourself by engaging one of the others on your list.

  • Another alternative is to tell the person you’re doing an assignment for a class you’re taking:

    • “I’m taking a class aimed at helping people create better conversations about difficult topics. The topics we’re focusing on are unintended pregnancy and abortion. I’m wondering if you would be willing to have a 15-minute conversation with me to help me out. The assignment for this week is to ask someone what they think about these topics and to listen, ask clarification questions, and find common ground without challenging anything that’s shared for the whole 15-minute conversation. Would you be willing to help me out?”

  • *During COVID-19, we suggest being very careful to respect personal boundaries and social distancing expectations. We are thinking here of conversations with neighbors over the backyard fence in which you can respect social distancing expectations but also be close enough that you don’t have to yell to be heard:)

Prompt 2 (After Session 1): TALK TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT WITH WHOM PAST ABORTION CONVERSATIONS HAVE GONE BADLY

  • Introduce the conversation by saying,

    • “I wanted to contact you and say something about how I’ve treated you in past conversations about abortion. In short, I am sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I think I communicated that I don’t care about you or your opinions through the way I responded to you in those conversations. Would you forgive me? [Wait for a response.] I am wondering if you would allow me to try again. I just took a class on three skills that I am trying to learn to put into practice: listening to understand, asking questions with an open heart, and finding common ground when possible. Would you be willing to talk to me for 15 minutes about abortion? I promise to do my best to use these skills to show you the respect you deserve.”

Prompt 3 (After Session 1): SHARE STEVE WAGNER’S BOOK WITH A FRIEND

  • Steve Wagner published Common Ground Without Compromise: 25 Questions to Create Dialogue on Abortion in 2008 expressly for the purpose of helping people create conversations. It’s a letter to pro-life and pro-choice people written in language both groups will understand and appreciate. The goal is to start the conversation with some aspect of the discussion on which we are all likely to agree so that we can then proceed to discussing our disagreements more productively. Each chapter is short and many of the chapters model this process of moving from agreement to disagreement. This makes the book a good tool for starting a conversation. What’s more, the book is available for free at Steve’s book web page.

Prompt 4: TALK TO A STRANGER (After Course Conclusion or Anytime)

  • The difficult thing about this suggestion during COVID-19 is that many of the usual places we might have suggested to find people to talk to (college campuses, parks, etc) are closed, and indeed, in downtown walking areas and other locations that may still be open, many people are very skittish about getting in conversations with strangers for fear of contracting COVID-19. We’ve included this idea here only to encourage you to think creatively about whether God has put people in your path with whom you could speak without making them feel uncomfortable.

    • For example, you may participate in a Facebook group devoted to some other topic or shared interest. You might direct message someone (if it doesn’t break community rules for that group) to ask them to take an informal survey you’re conducting. This appeal might be even more persuasive if you commit to ask 10 people to take the survey. Then you might even report back on the results of the survey to the people who took it!

      • If you take this approach, you might use the JFA “Invitation to Dialogue” Survey which draws questions from the JFA “Invitation to Dialogue” Brochure. 

      • Or, you might combine this approach with Option 1 above and just suggest to the person via direct message that you’re starting conversations about abortion.

Prompt 5: JFA Outreach Event (After Course Conclusion or Anytime)

Join us! See www.jfaweb.org/mission-trips and www.jfaweb.org/calendar for more information. Or, call our office: (316) 683-6426. Some of our outreach events do not get posted on our Calendar page. Call our office and ask to speak to JFA’s Director of Operations, Paul Kulas, about upcoming outreach events.

TELL US HOW YOUR CONVERSATION WENT

 

Love3 Session 2 - Are Images Helpful? - Notes

Stories

Featured
IMG_3237.jpg
Kristina Massa
Never Underestimate a Picture
Kristina Massa
Kristina Massa
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Kaitlyn Donihue
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Kaitlyn Donihue
Kaitlyn Donihue
Picture: How Two Minds Changed
Hannah Cook
Picture: How Two Minds Changed
Hannah Cook
Hannah Cook
I Didn't See This Coming
Kaitlyn Donihue
I Didn't See This Coming
Kaitlyn Donihue
Kaitlyn Donihue
Charity on the Metro
Steve Wagner
Charity on the Metro
Steve Wagner

Our trainers tell this classic JFA story during presentations and seminars.  In this Impact Report from 2015, you can also read the "story behind the story."

Steve Wagner

More Stories

Emmett Till

Here are some of the basic facts relevant to retelling the story of Emmett Till:

  • Emmett Till, a black boy from Chicago, was 14 when he visited his uncle and cousins in Money, Mississippi for a two-week trip in the summer of 1955.

  • On Wednesday, Emmett bought a piece of gum from the white woman behind a grocery store counter (Bryants’ Grocery in Money, MS). While talking with his friends outside, he whistled (many times this was a side effect of a stuttering problem he had); at about the same time the white woman walked toward her car. The boys ran off, fearing that she was going to get a gun.

  • Emmett was taken from his uncle’s home at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning. His body was found in a river a few days later, tied to a cotton gin fan with barbed wire. He was hardly recognizable, and it was clear that he had been beaten severely and shot through the head.

  • His mother held an open casket funeral saying, “I want the world to see what they did to my boy.”

  • Pictures of the mutilated body were published in JET Magazine, and the story provided a catalyst for the Civil Rights Movement:

Recommended sources we used to construct this outline are:

We also recommend the following resources:

The trailer for the recent film Till can give you a sense of the outline of some aspects of the story of Emmett Till from his mother Mamie Till Mobley’s perspective:

A Prayer for Those Considering Past Abortions and Confronting the Reality of Abortion in Images

“Lord, we’re heartbroken by what we’ve seen in the images of abortion. We’re heartbroken by what this tragedy means for unborn children, for their mothers and fathers, and for our entire community. Thank you that abortion is not the unforgiveable sin, and that through Christ’s giving of himself, you are ready, willing, and eager to forgive the sin of abortion, just as with any other sin that we bring to you in repentance. Help us not to pass judgment, but instead to share the comfort of forgiveness - the very same comfort that we ourselves have experienced in Christ Jesus. Amen.”

Human Development Images: Source and Information

(This section is under construction.)

See “Milestones in Fetal Development” for some of the important milestones in human development.

Abortion Images: Sources and Information

(This section is under construction.)

Whatever any of us believe about the public use of abortion images, can’t we all agree the private use of abortion images with a warning and consent of the viewer can be very helpful to one-to-one conversations?  

 

links TO IMAGE RESOURCES (SESSION 2)

NEXT STEP: Start a Conversation

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Prompt 6: USE THE JFA BROCHURE TOUR TO START A CONVERSATION (After Session 2)

  • Use the prompt in the Brochure Tour Activity script to help you structure your conversation.

Prompt 7: Share “What Is Abortion” with a Friend (After Session 2)

  • Go to JFA’s “What Is Abortion?” page and share one of the featured resources with a friend. Be sure to warn your friend that the video or photographs he or she is about to see are extremely graphic because they show accurate depictions of the results of abortion. Ask, “Are you willing to view them?” You might also express to your friend why you think the images can be a helpful tool. Use the prompt on Page 10 of the Love3 Workshop Interactive Guide and use the script to help you structure your conversation.

Prompt 8: ENCOURAGE A PRO-LIFE FRIEND Using Images of the Unborn in the Womb (After Session 2)

  • In certain weeks when we’ve covered Session 2, there have been brutal killings depicted in the news in very graphic ways. If this week is similar, you may conclude that your conversation with your friend won’t be helped by encouraging him or her to look at still more graphic material. Here’s a different idea, though: you can share the beautiful images found on JFA’s “What Is the Unborn?” page with a pro-life friend as an encouragement. You might say:

    • “In the midst of the ugly and violent images on social media and in the news this week, I learned about some beautiful video of unborn children in my pro-life dialogue class that I thought would encourage you.”


Prompt 9: CONTINUE YOUR CONVERSATION FROM SESSION 1 (After Session 2)

  • If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Ask if your friend has seen images of the unborn before or after abortion. Ask about his/her experience. If you judge it to be possibly helpful to the person, ask if he or she is willing to look at the Invitation to Dialogue Brochure or the video from Session 2 linked in the “What Is Abortion?” page. Make sure you offer a warning before showing graphic abortion images.

Prompt 10: Use the Three Essential Skills in a Conversation with Friends about Any Recent Justice Controversy (After Session 2 or Anytime)

  • Virtually any news item that concerns justice and the proper treatment of human beings can become a valuable opportunity for dialogue, and that dialogue can many times include a non-awkward bridge to concerns about the treatment of unborn children. Here are some examples: war, racism, poverty, the brutality of certain errant police officers, discrimination against any number of groups (e,g, conservatives, liberals, whites, blacks, Latinos, Asians), the proper use of law, the proper use of force, how to keep law and order, and whether various strategies for bringing about change are justified. With any of these topics, we suggest engaging in conversations with a spouse, child, friend, or neighbor with a conscious emphasis on the three essential skills: Listening to understand, asking questions with an open heart, and finding common ground when possible. One way to form questions for the other person is to first ask questions of yourself, such as the following:

    • What am I assuming about this person’s communication? Am I adding some meaning to the plain words being said?

    • Am I giving this person the benefit of the doubt or believing the worst?

    • Am I trying to hear what the person intended or am I reacting to a meaning she didn’t intend?

    • Are there words this person is saying that may have more than one meaning? Which words would it help to clarify?

    • Are there things about this topic I don’t know?

    • Is there anything this person is saying that I can agree with? Have I pointed that thing out?

    • Is the person intending to make an argument or express a feeling? If it’s a feeling, have I validated the feeling?

    • Is the person thinking the topic through in real time with me listening?

    • Does the person appear to be confident because she is actually confident or is the confidence a part of the person’s personality that doesn’t relate to what’s going on with the topic for her?

    • Are there things this person is certain about that I can agree with? Are there things this person is skeptical about or uncertain about that I can identify with? Have I found common ground on the feeling of uncertainty or fear that she is feeling?

    • I hear the statement this person is making. I don’t agree. I wonder what it would take for me to come to agree. What amount of evidence would be sufficient? What type of authority would help convince me?

Note: If Violence Has Been a Prominent Part of this Week’s News, YOU May want to OPT OUT OF A CONVERSATION.

  • As you survey the news of this particular week in which you are taking Session 2, you may feel like starting a conversation about abortion, especially related to abortion imagery, seems awkward or out of place. You may be surprised that many people would not find it awkward to discuss abortion imagery and may even be more comfortable with it, given the images in the news. With this in mind, and considering how serious the injustice of abortion is against a whole class of people (unwanted unborn human beings), we would still encourage you to consider the conversation starters below and see if you can make use of them.

  • If after reflection on the above paragraph you feel like you would prefer to not try to use images in a conversation this week, we suggest spending the time you might have spent on conversations to pause to pray to God to bring an end to injustice in all of its forms, to comfort the hurting, and to solve the very challenging problems we’re seeing all around us. If you are not a religious person, or as an additional activity, we suggest listening to and reflecting on the stories of oppressed peoples wherever they are in the US and around the world.

Links to Resources Common to All Sessions/Topics: Interactive Guide — Brochure (Virtual & Paper) — COMMON GROUND FREE eBOOK OFFER — SURVEY: Start a Conversation — POLL TABLE: Start a Conversation — LINKS FOR VOLUNTEERS — FACTS — MORE FACTS — CALENDAR & REGISTER (Invite a Friend to Love3 or Join JFA for an Outreach Event) — Helping a Friend Considering Abortion: JFA’s Practical Solutions page — Helping a Friends with Abortion in Her (or His) Past: Bridge to Healing: A Practical Guide for Helping Women with Abortion in Their Past by JFA Trainer Kaitlyn Donihue — JFA’s Healing After Abortion page

Topic/Session Quick Links: 1: Three Essential Skills — 2: Can Images Help? — 3: One Central Question & Biology — 4: Equal Rights Mystery — 5: Question of Rape — 6: Bodily Rights — 7: Q&A — What Next — About Love3 — About ADD — Help JFA

Love3 Session 3 - One Central Question (Including Biology) - Notes

Stories

Parts vs. Wholes & The Polaroid Illustration

[Portions of JFA Trainer Lecture on “Living Human Organism]

So, the unborn is at least living human tissue, but so are the cheek cells I let the doctor scrape with a toothpick in order to send to the lab for some diagnostic test. When the lab tech kills those cells, has she just killed innocent humans?

In the first weeks after conception, the unborn is very small, almost as small as a sperm cell or an egg cell. Some people ask, “Are you saying all sperm are valuable?”

But as Scott Klusendorf says, these questions confuse parts and wholes. Sperm and egg are functional parts of the bodies of a man and a woman. But once the sperm and egg come together, both cease to exist and a new unique whole organism comes into existence.

The unborn from the one-cell stage is not a functional part of anyone’s body. She is a whole organism with her own functional parts. She’s unifying those parts for the good of the whole and developing herself to the next stage of the organism.

Richard Stith points out that many pro-choice people struggle with the case against abortion because they have it in their minds that embryos develop like cars on an assembly line. It’s difficult to know when you have a car. Is it when you add the fender or the wheels? But that’s because the car is constructed piece by piece. The unborn is not this way. It isn’t constructed. There is no injection of essential material after fertilization. The embryo doesn’t have a heart added in week three. He develops it from within himself. Development is not like construction.

The unborn is more like the old Polaroid photos. Remember how you took the picture and this white piece of plastic with a grey smudge on it came out of the camera? You had to wait for the picture to emerge from the grey smudge. At the beginning it didn’t look like much, but it was the same photo that emerged seconds later. You just didn’t have the apparatus to see it.

The unborn develops in a similar way. It may not look like much, but it is the same organism at the fertilization stage that it will be years later at the adult stage…and at every point in between.

So, from the beginning, we have a whole organism on a self-directed path of development. If you and I are organisms, and all that was added to us from the time of fertilization until now was a proper environment and adequate nutrition, then we must have been organisms at the time of fertilization, too.

So, the unborn is a living, whole organism of the human species. I don’t know what else to call that but a human being.

(See this list for more on these concepts.)



NEXT STEP: Start a Conversation (Session 3)

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Prompt 11: CONTINUE YOUR CONVERSATION FROM SESSION 1 (After Session 3)

  • If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Focus on finding common ground first regarding the circumstances the person brings up in order to justify abortion. Then trot out a toddler to try to bring clarity to the need to answer the question, “What is the unborn?” If the person seems open, share some of the biological evidence supporting the idea that the unborn is a living human organism. Make sure to ask these questions with an open heart, listen to understand what the person means with his or her responses, and find common ground when possible. Gently challenge mistakes in thinking using the ideas you learned this week.

Prompt 12: USE VIDEO FROM EHD TO START A CONVERSATION (After Session 3)

  • One of EHD’s stunning video resources.

  • Share the beautiful video images from EHD (JFA’s “What Is the Unborn?” page or the Links page) on social media or through email. You might say:

  • “In the midst of the ugly and violent images on social media and news this week, I learned about some beautiful video of unborn children in my class on unintended pregnancy and abortion that I thought might be uplifting to you.”

Prompt 13: SHARE JFA’s SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS (After Session 3)

Prompt 14: Share Video of CK at CSU (After Session 3)

(Note: Large graphic visuals visible at beginning of video.)

Love3 Session 4 - The Equal Rights Mystery - Notes

Stories

Extended “Imitate” Dialogue

Coming soon.

Links and Notes on Session 4

NEXT STEP: CONVERSATION STARTER FOR SESSION 4

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Prompt 15: CONTINUE YOUR CONVERSATION FROM SESSION 1 AND FOLLOWING SESSIONS (After Session 4)

  • If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Share the Equal Rights Mystery and ask how the person would explain what is the same about all of us who deserve to be treated equally. If humanness is the answer given, then ask what this would mean for the unborn. If another answer is given, clarify which animals and humans would be in and which would be out of the equal rights community (like the blue box activity). Ask, “Does this implication of your view make sense?”

Prompt 16: SHARE THE VIDEO OF CK’S CONVERSATION (After Session 4)

Prompt 17: SHARE THE VIDEO OF BECCA HOTOVY’S CONVERSATION (After Session 4)


Prompt 18: SHARE THESE SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS (After Session 4)

Prompt 19: SHARE QUESTION 22 FROM COMMON GROUND WITHOUT COMPROMISE (After Session 4)

Prompt 20: Share Becca Hotovy’s Conversation with Julia (After Session 4)


Links to Resources Common to All Sessions/Topics: Interactive Guide — Brochure (Virtual & Paper) — COMMON GROUND FREE eBOOK OFFER — SURVEY: Start a Conversation — POLL TABLE: Start a Conversation — LINKS FOR VOLUNTEERS — FACTS — MORE FACTS — CALENDAR & REGISTER (Invite a Friend to Love3 or Join JFA for an Outreach Event) — Helping a Friend Considering Abortion: JFA’s Practical Solutions page — Helping a Friends with Abortion in Her (or His) Past: Bridge to Healing: A Practical Guide for Helping Women with Abortion in Their Past by JFA Trainer Kaitlyn Donihue — JFA’s Healing After Abortion page

Topic/Session Quick Links: 1: Three Essential Skills — 2: Can Images Help? — 3: One Central Question & Biology — 4: Equal Rights Mystery — 5: Question of Rape — 6: Bodily Rights — 7: Q&A — What Next — About Love3 — About ADD — Help JFA

Love3 Session 5 - The Question of Rape - Notes

Stories

Featured
Passing the Baton
Tammy Cook
Passing the Baton
Tammy Cook

Tammy Cook reflects on 28 years with JFA.

Tammy Cook
An Eye-Opening Conversation
Andrea Thenhaus
An Eye-Opening Conversation
Andrea Thenhaus
Andrea Thenhaus
A Difficult Answer to a Difficult Question
Rebekah Dyer
A Difficult Answer to a Difficult Question
Rebekah Dyer
Rebekah Dyer
Aha Moments for Henry
Andrea Thenhaus
Aha Moments for Henry
Andrea Thenhaus
Andrea Thenhaus
Be Relational...then Be Intellectual
Steve Wagner
Be Relational...then Be Intellectual
Steve Wagner
Steve Wagner
Answering the Hard Cases
Kristina Massa
Answering the Hard Cases
Kristina Massa
Kristina Massa

NEXT STEP: CONVERSATION STARTER FOR SESSION 5

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, and Session 4 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Prompt 21: CONTINUE YOUR CONVERSATION FROM SESSION 1 AND FOLLOWING SESSIONS (After Session 5)

  • If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Mention that one of the most common topics that comes up in relation to the topics of unintended pregnancy and abortion is the topic of rape. Ask what your friend thinks about abortion in this case late in pregnancy…and early in pregnancy. Use what you learned in Session 5 to dialogue with your friend.

Prompt 22: SHARE PAGES 2-3 FROM THE JFA BROCHURE (After Session 5)

  • Use the digital brochure or send this image. Ask, “which circumstances concern you most.” Usually, rape is one of the most common circumstances people raise. Use what you learned in Session 5 to create a productive conversation with your friend.

Prompt 23: SHARE PAGES 8-9 FROM THE JFA BROCHURE (After Session 5)

Links to Resources Common to All Sessions/Topics: Interactive Guide — Brochure (Virtual & Paper) — COMMON GROUND FREE eBOOK OFFER — SURVEY: Start a Conversation — POLL TABLE: Start a Conversation — LINKS FOR VOLUNTEERS — FACTS — MORE FACTS — CALENDAR & REGISTER (Invite a Friend to Love3 or Join JFA for an Outreach Event) — Helping a Friend Considering Abortion: JFA’s Practical Solutions page — Helping a Friends with Abortion in Her (or His) Past: Bridge to Healing: A Practical Guide for Helping Women with Abortion in Their Past by JFA Trainer Kaitlyn Donihue — JFA’s Healing After Abortion page

Topic/Session Quick Links: 1: Three Essential Skills — 2: Can Images Help? — 3: One Central Question & Biology — 4: Equal Rights Mystery — 5: Question of Rape — 6: Bodily Rights — 7: Q&A — What Next — About Love3 — About ADD — Help JFA 

Love3 Session 6 - Do Bodily Rights Mean Abortion Is Okay? - Notes

Stories

“Right to Refuse” Imitate Dialogue (CONTINUED)

[See Love3 Workshop Interactive Guide, Session 6 for the beginning of this dialogue (Part IV).]

Pro-Life: Let me give you another specific case and see what you think: Imagine I own a yacht and I take it out to sea one day, and only then do I come to find that a homeless man has stowed away on my boat. Let’s say I know that he isn’t a good swimmer. What are the options open to me in terms of helping or not helping?

Pro-Choice: You can help him by letting him hang out. I don’t think you have another option.

L: Well, theoretically, I could kick him overboard and let him drown, couldn’t I?

C: Are you asking me what should be legal?

L: Yes.

C: Well, I think you shouldn’t have the legal option to kick him overboard because it would kill him. [Pause] Wait, I see your point. You don’t have the option to “not help” in that case, and we know it shouldn’t be legal to directly kill, so the only legal option you have open to you is to help him get to shore. [Pause] So, let’s apply that to abortion. You can help the fetus by letting him “stay aboard the boat” but you don’t have a “not help” option. The only other option is to directly kill, and we know that shouldn’t be a legal option.

L: I think that makes sense.

C: I’m not convinced abortion should be illegal, but I’m not sure I can poke holes in this logic.

L: I understand. One thing I think we can also agree about is that we can certainly sympathize with how “stuck” a woman might feel in the midst of finding herself pregnant. And many times we as a society give men a different kind of pass. I think that’s wrong. Men should take their responsibility as a father just as seriously as we’re expecting a pregnant woman to take her responsibility as a mother.

C: It just seems wrong for her to have no way out.

L: I agree that it’s not simple or easy. I wonder, though, if there’s a way we could change our perspective on children away from thinking they are burdens to thinking they are gifts to be cherished?

C: That’s really easy for you to say and really hard for many women to hear.

L: I agree. I think it’s important that I acknowledge how hard this is for the woman...

[end]

NEXT STEP: CONVERSATION STARTER FOR SESSION 6

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

If you’re ready to try to create a conversation with a friend or acquaintance using this week’s material, try one of these conversation starters, complete with step-by-step instructions:

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Prompt 24: CONTINUE YOUR CONVERSATION FROM SESSION 1 AND FOLLOWING SESSIONS (After Session 6)

  • If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Ask if he or she agrees that generally speaking, a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body, and point out that this right has been trampled throughout history (and continues to be in the present day). Then ask if abortion is an important component of that right. Throughout the conversation, focus on the empathy we developed in Sessions 5 and 6 (meeting the “Relational Challenge”) as you dialogue with your friend.

Prompt 25: SHARE THE “IT’S HER BODY” ARTICLE (After Session 6)

Prompt 26: SHARE PAGES 8-9 FROM THE JFA BROCHURE (After Session 6)

  • We shared this conversation idea in Session 5, but it also can help you start with common ground in conversations about a woman’s right to her body. Use pages 8-9 as a springboard for conversation about what each of us can do to stop the violence against women.

Prompt 27: SHARE THE ERI VIDEO (After Session 6)

  • Share the video below to start a conversation. We suggest prefacing the video with a warning about its graphic descriptions of abortion as well as a discussion of the content of the “It’s Her Body” series linked above.

Articles Referenced in SESSION 6

Timothy Brahm describes a new approach to refuting the strongest bodily rights arguments for abortion.4:44 Citation for original thought-experiment, which we...

Video From SESSION 6

JFA’s COMPLETE GUIDE to Bodily Rights Resources

Including…

  • It’s Her Body Article Collection (Including “It’s Her Body” and “Autumn in the Sovereign Zone” and “De Facto Guardian”)

  • “De Facto Guardian and Abortion: A Response to the Strongest Violinist”

  • Debate between Trent Horn and David Boonin

  • ERI’s response to “Abortion as Self-Defense”

  • Timothy Brahm's "Autumn in the Sovereign Zone" which includes a masterful response to the Sovereign Zone Argument.

  • "Good Samaritan on Life Support" by 2010 JFA Intern Tony George.

  • NEW: See our “12 Minutes on Bodily Rights” post featuring ERI’s video with Timothy Brahm’s updated thoughts on how to respond to bodily rights arguments (“Blood Donation and Bodily Rights Arguments” ).

Love3 Session 7 - “Personally Opposed” Etc. - Notes

Stories

 

Notes and Links for Session 7

Notes and links are below the “Where Do You Fit"?” and “Next Step” Sections.

 

Where Do You Fit?

We envision a movement of people like you, actively living out concern for unborn children and their parents by engaging friends and strangers in conversation. These are the people we are endeavoring to be. We invite you to join us.

The conversations we create sometimes help a pro-choice advocate change her mind. Sometimes, they help someone who claims to be pro-life but who is making no discernible difference for unborn children and their parents get connected to JFA so that he, too, can begin making a difference.

Think of a continuum where the left end features those who think abortion is no big deal, the middle features those who think it’s really bad but should be legal, and the right end features those who are actively seeking to change minds about abortion in order to change public opinion in order to ultimately change public policy.

Every person we meet can be moved closer to the right side of this continuum. That’s where our conversations come in. We seek to help those in the middle who are most persuadable to change their disposition (including thoughts, feelings, affections) toward the unborn and abortion. This sometimes looks a lot like the Imitate dialogues in the Love3 Workshop. Sometimes it’s as simple as inviting someone to attend the next Love3 Workshop to get trained.

If you’re willing to create just one conversation, you’re a part of the Love3 Community. But we invite you to go further and turn that one conversation into a habit!

 

Next Step 1: Give Feedback and Get Connected

  • Give Us Feedback (and Sign Up for Updates): www.jfaweb.org/updates

  • Register for an Upcoming Online Mentoring Sessions: www.jfaweb.org/register

 

Next Step 2: Start One Conversation, then Another...and Another

We challenge you to set a goal for yourself. You might plan to start just one conversation in the next week, or one conversation in the next month. Or, you might make a plan to create one conversation each week for the next ten weeks. Whatever plan you make, please share it with your JFA mentor. We’d like to pray for you in our daily staff prayer time, and we’d like to do what we can to encourage you. To help you carry out your plan for your next conversation, you can use any of the prompts from earlier sessions (Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 and Session 6) or these additional prompts:

Prompt 28: Continue Your Conversation Already Begun (After Session 7)

If you used the conversation starter from Session 1, go back to the person you talked to and ask if he or she wants to continue the conversation. Use what you learned in Session 7 to dialogue with your friend.

Prompt 29: Attend a JFA Outreach Event (After Session 7 or Anytime)

If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event.

Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information.

Do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help.

We think you also might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

Prompt 30: Conduct a Public Place Survey (After Session 7 or Anytime)

See www.jfaweb.org/survey for examples of surveys JFA has created for your use.

 

Next Step 3: Support JFA

We offer many of our resources and events for free because it’s our passion to help any Christian create life-saving dialogue, whether she has money to invest in that priority or not. You can help us train others just like you!

 

Next Step 4: Connect Others to the JFA Community

  • Share a social media post to drive interest in conversations about unborn children.

  • Teach others to dialogue (ask about the JFA Teachers program to get access to materials).

  • Invite a friend, pro-life group, or church group to participate in JFA’s Love3 program.

  • Ask others to support JFA.

In-Depth Resources for “Personally Opposed But It Should Be Legal”

This section helps you respond to some very common ways of expressing the pro-choice position which all center around being “personally opposed to abortion” but also claiming “abortion should remain legal”:

  • “I’m personally opposed to abortion, but I think abortion should remain legal.”

  • “I’m personally pro-life, but I don’t think I can force my views on others through the law.”

  • “I would never have an abortion, but I can’t legislate my personal morality.”

  • “I’m pro-life because I’m religious, so I don’t think I can force my religious views on others.”

#Mindblown and Two Buckets

Scott Klusendorf and Greg Koukl on “Personally Opposed”

Video on “Personally Opposed”

VIDEO: “She’s Not Sure What to Think…How About You?” CK Wisner discusses the topic “I’m against abortion, but I can’t tell others what to do” with a student during this conversation at CSU.

VIDEO: Josh Brahm at ERI gives six tips for responding to the “Personally Opposed but Should Be Legal” position in this short video.






Bodily Rights and “Personally Opposed”

Relativism, Skepticism, and “Personally Opposed”

“NOTE: Relativism and ‘personally opposed but should be legal’ share a sort of venn diagram relationship. There are versions of each that are examples of the other, but then there are also versions of each that are distinct from the other. In addition, relativism and "personally opposed" many times as a expressions of skepticism, or a general leaning on the idea that "well, we really can't know anything about things like that." Keep our resources on relativism, skepticism, and “personally opposed” in mind as you seek to learn to respond to people in a way that understands their view before challenging it.” - Steve Wagner, May 2021

In-Depth Resources for “Threats to the Life of the Mother”

In-Depth Resources for “Back-Alley Abortion”

If abortion is made illegal, won't more women die in the back alleys from unsafe abortions?

 

IN-DEPTH RESOURCES FOR Other QUESTIONS

Links to Resources Common to All Sessions/Topics: Interactive Guide — Brochure (Virtual & Paper) — COMMON GROUND FREE eBOOK OFFER — SURVEY: Start a Conversation — POLL TABLE: Start a Conversation — LINKS FOR VOLUNTEERS — FACTS — MORE FACTS — CALENDAR & REGISTER (Invite a Friend to Love3 or Join JFA for an Outreach Event) — Helping a Friend Considering Abortion: JFA’s Practical Solutions page — Helping a Friends with Abortion in Her (or His) Past: Bridge to Healing: A Practical Guide for Helping Women with Abortion in Their Past by JFA Trainer Kaitlyn Donihue — JFA’s Healing After Abortion page

Topic/Session Quick Links: 1: Three Essential Skills — 2: Can Images Help? — 3: One Central Question & Biology — 4: Equal Rights Mystery — 5: Question of Rape — 6: Bodily Rights — 7: Q&A — What Next — About Love3 — About ADD — Help JFA 

Love3 - What Next? One Conversation

Note! If you are currently taking the Love3 course or if you’ve taken it in the past, we invite you to attend a JFA outreach event to observe or serve as a volunteer! This is by far the easiest way to get a conversation started. You are welcome to just listen in, and JFA mentors are on site to help you start your first conversation if and when you’re ready. You are not required to start your first conversation before coming to an outreach event; after all, helping you take a next step is one of the main purposes of a JFA outreach event. Find a JFA outreach event near you at the JFA Event Calendar or go on a Mission Trip. Call the JFA office (316.683.6426), fill out JFA’s contact form, or email the JFA Webinar Admin and ask for a JFA mentor to give you more information. Also, do you need more help starting a conversation, but there are no outreach events near you? We understand! JFA’s Mentoring and Office Hours Sessions can help! Also, we think you might be encouraged by reading stories of Love3 participants creating conversations.

Tell us about your first conversation here: SHARE YOUR JFA STORY.

Here are some additional resources and ideas for starting conversations:

Note: Some of the conversation starters from Session 1 and Session 2 and Session 3 and Session 4 and Session 5 and Session 6 and Session 7 may still be helpful to you for starting conversations.

Love3 Participants Share Stories of Creating Conversations

Ways You Can Help JFA